These are the 24 most batshit crazy things that actually happened on Waterloo Road
Honestly what the hell did we watch
It’s 2008. A Wednesday night. Waterloo Road is about to start, swiftly followed by The Apprentice. Dinner’s ready but mum’s letting you eat it on the sofa. Oh wait, you forgot your orange squash and quickly run back to the kitchen as the theme tune starts. You’re excited because you know whatever happens in the next hour, everyone at school will talk about it during form time. Life is good.
But then you grow up and realise that looking back, the writers of Waterloo Road must have smoked something very strong to come up with the insane storylines they ran with. Not that these things didn’t happen across the country, but the likelihood of them all happening in one school was just… very slim.
Remember when the school nearly got demolished, had a fire or gas leak every term? Or the number of random deaths, which would have been so traumatic in real life? Like Tom Clarkson falling off the roof and dying in front of everyone. Yeah, that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Here are some of the unforgettable storylines Waterloo Road came up with for ten seasons straight:
1. When the whole school moved to Scotland one day
One day they were all at school in Rochdale and then the next day it was announced they were moving to Scotland and everyone just went no questions asked. As in, entire families moved to Scotland like it was no big deal??? That doesn’t ever happen.
2. When Denzil Kelly got ran over by the lorry on the way to Scotland and Tariq was left in a wheelchair
Picture this. The whole school is moving to Scotland, in a single hired coach may I add, and they stop over at the border. Everyone goes to take a picture, Grantly proposes to one of the food ladies and while all of this is happening, a lorry swerves and a drunk driver kills Denzil Kelly. What the actual fuck.
3. That crazy fire???
And then the poor students still trapped in the building? After watching this episode, you never messed with a fire drill ever again.
4. When some girl’s dad randomly decided to rip apart the school with a digger?!
Some drama with the headteacher meant that a pupil’s dad drove into the school grounds to try and destroy the building with a digger. Classique.
5. Chlo casually set up a mobile hairdressers in the playground
She actually charged her classmates for putting their hair into ponytails. Fair.
6. When Chlo and Donte got married at the tender age of 16?!
And I can’t even get a text back.
7. Maxine buried her dead baby in the school playground
It’s obviously super tragic this happened. But I just don’t understand how this was physically possible? How did no one notice she was pregnant? FYI, the baby wasn’t actually alive, so Maxine didn’t kill her. But logistically speaking, why did she bury the baby on the school grounds?
8. When a teacher saved Lula from an exorcism
I’ll let this video explain:
9. Earl literally murdered Maxine because she didn’t love him back??
Again, obviously tragic things like this do happen, but it was just a lot for a teenage brain to process.
10. When the whole Barry family turned up and they were criminals but it was fine
Also can we talk about the fact that the oldest son’s name was Barry Barry???
11. There was a different head teacher every single year but nobody even said anything
The staff turnover rate at Waterloo Road was alarming. And yet it kept getting voted the best school in the area time and time again.
12. Sambuca’s shocking cancer diagnosis
Okay obviously children do get brain tumours. But the whole thing unfolded so quickly, no one really had time to react to what was going on. I was traumatised then and I’m still traumatised thinking about it now.
Also who calls a character Sambuca, please???
13. When Earl brought a gun into school and the whole school got evacuated
And obviously, he gave it to his little brother Denzil to get rid of it and then he nearly shot someone. Just a Monday afternoon at Waterloo Road everyone.
14. The head teacher that was shagging his PA and everyone knew
I mean to be fair, it’s not that far fetched.
15. When George Sampson getting a role on Waterloo Road was the most ambitious crossover of the noughties
“Omg how fit did George Sampson look on Waterloo Road last night??”
16. There were a bunch of drug dealers posing as a takeaway van, who would literally sell cocaine with burgers to the school children
And they would go to do the drugs in the toilets.
17. When Lindsay murdered her dad?!?!?
It was intense and sad, but also the writers really went on a field day with this story line.
18. When students periodically would crash the headteacher’s car??
Again. When would anyone actually think of waking up one day and joyriding their headmaster’s car?
19. When one of the teachers caught a student stripping for money
Pretty sure in today’s world the fact he followed her to a strip club would be seen as very weird, but okay.
20. When Danielle staged a protest on the roof of the school because she didn’t want to be homeschooled by her dad and loads of people joined her
Nowadays students get in trouble for protesting against climate change, let alone climbing on roofs.
21. This fight loooool
22. When Mr Clarkson fell off the roof trying to get another student down
Waterloo Road died when Tom Clarkson died. Gone but never forgotten. RIP x
23. Okay so this isn’t a crazy thing that happened but Lucien Laviscount was sooooo fit
He played a character called Jonah in Waterloo Road but I can’t even remember his name because all I can remember is his face. Look at him please.
24. Mr Mead going to random children’s houses and interrogating their parents for their life story. Every. Single. Episode.
But no one minded because that man literally exuded pheromones.