I visited Bonnie Blue’s ‘Bang Bus’ in the flesh and it was so, so jarring

In case you’ve been ignoring the internet – Bonnie Blue has spent the last two weeks driving around UK universities with her extensive security team and a polar bear plushie toy. I trekked across London to witness Bonnie Blue’s Bang Bus in Hyde Park. It was quite the experience.

Firstly, it isn’t really a bus. It looks a lot smaller in person than it does in TikToks. The vehicle is really more of a minivan. It wasn’t drastically larger than the Land Rover Defender that Bonnie was hiding from nosy journalists in.

Bonnie Blue’s Bang Bus, and absolutely zero crowds

The dashboard was decorated with an assortment of Durex condoms (both opened and packaged), wet wipes and lube. These appeared to have been deliberately arranged there for ornamental purposes.

Would these obstruct your vision while driving?

No, Bonnie Blue has not been sleeping with random university students in the bus. There’s literally a note (albeit in a small font) on her website that says: “Disclaimer – Bonnie Blue will not be engaging in any sexual activity the public”. She has used the bus in some of her other, erm, online content, though.

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Having peered through the windows, I can confirm that the back of the bus contains… car seats. I know, shocking. The bench has lockable storage underneath, and has been decorated with the Bonnie Blue bang bus branding. There’s also a little table and a cabinet of, erm, props. I suppose it would be possible to lie horizontally on the back seats? But there isn’t a bed, or anything you would expect to find in The Red Room in Fifty Shades of Grey. Before heading out on her tour, Bonnie proclaimed, “I want my bang bus to be leaking with fluids between locations.” The bus seemed dry enough to not be a public health hazard.

Bonnie Blue on the bench in the bang bus (wow, that’s a lot of alliteration)
(Image via TikTok)

The bus’s primary purpose appears to be for storing cardboard boxes of tee-shirts. Bonnie has been chucking out the window to clubbers. The tops read, “Bonnie’s barely legal” and “I was number one in the Bonnie Blue queue”. Now, that’s a sophisticated fashion accessory for any occasion.

Bonnie Blue inside the bus, near some University of Cambridge buildings
(Image via TikTok)

In Cambridge, Bonnie Blue did manage to lure some young people into her bus and show them what’s in her drawer. “The uni essentials I’ve got in here in the bang bus is lube,” she said in a TikTok video. The floor could do with a hoover, tbh.

Bonnie Blue and her bus speeding away from me through a virtually empty car park

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Featured images of Bonnie in the bus via TikTok.