Debriefs to devouring food: The most annoying people you’ll find in a Bristol uni library

The concept of a library is actually bizzare. We all sit in a room in silence and pretend to do work or actually do work because you’re forced to by those around you. I would go as far to say that libraries are extremely performative, especially at university, where you’re bound to run into jumpscares or BNOCs while hunched over your laptop to prove your degree is extremely rigorous and there’s no way you could just write that essay in bed.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a library warrior. However, I do tend to lock in to people watching over my actual work. Therefore, I have witnessed some crazy behaviour that has led to internal anger, side-eyeing, huffs and puffs and even leaving the library.

To combat this, I have created this list as a warning to those of you who try and test me while I am innocently writing my essays: the most annoying people you’ll find in a Bristol uni library. If you’re on the list, stay at home!

1. Munchers 

Don’t get me wrong, I love a cheeky sweet treat while typing away. However, the library is NOT a canteen. Most libraries have cafes or social spaces literally designed for eating your food, use them! Also, it is important to have a lunch break to refresh your brain and separate the day up a bit more.

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I take particular issue with smelly hot food that stinks out the entire room. I can deal with quick scran of a meal deal unless it’s a tuna mayo or prawn cocktail sandwich or that metal tasting tomato pasta. I once had to leave Queens Library because someone opposite was demolishing a big box of sushi. I love sushi, but not while I’m trying to do my work, please. Also Subway in the ASS is wild (see pic for reference).

2. Those who treat the library as a social (guilty lol)

Go get coffee to yap and kindly be quiet. Some people genuinely do not understand the meaning of silent study. A whisper now and again is fine, but I have heard many people speaking at FULL VOLUME, and as someone who is incredibly nosey, I will turn my music off to listen. Some libraries are more acceptable for a quick chat if essential, in my opinion, senate floor three and chemistry fall under this bracket (because this is where my friends mostly congregate).

But full chinwags in the ASS and Queens are jarring. However, I would never tell anyone to be quiet, that is a tad dramatic, as I say writing an article on this exact topic.

3. ASS finance bros

Why do they all congregate to the ASS? They particularly love the ground floor room so they can set up an entire desktop system. Finance bros test me, believing their work is WAY more important than yours (they don’t ever say this, it is just a feeling I have).

Although I have been patronisingly asked by multiple bros what I want to do with my degree in the future. Catch these bros watching American Psycho and Wolf of Wall Street every night as motivation, they are probably designing their business card and updating their LinkedIn as we speak.

4. Permanent residents – they should have a desk nameplate

People love routine, I understand that. HOWEVER, some people actually live in the same libraries, and even the exact same seat every single day. I have acquired many BNOCs, or more like a big name in senate floor three, because they are genuinely there every time I have stepped foot into the room.

I find this actually unsettling, and do ask myself if they’re real because how is it possible to be there EVERY SINGLE TIME. Unless maybe I am actually the one always there… Moral of the story, switch it up.

5. Seat savers

STOP SAVING SEATS WITH A PATHETIC PEICE OF PAPER OR HOODIE. Bristol uni struggles with study spaces at the best of times, stop making the epidemic even worse please.

If you’re popping out for lunch or a little break, be my guest, absolutely not an issue. But I have seen seats saved for genuinely hours, never actually seeing someone claim it.

6. Heavy breathers and coughing

I really struggle with this. If you’re ill, please go home and don’t infect the rest of us. I did once leave the library because the man next to me was snoring even though he was wide awake. Coughs are equally annoying, I really don’t enjoy someone coughing their lungs up next to me – I am guilty of a cheeky side-eye.

7. Booking seat baddies

I only recently discovered that people do actually book seats in the libraries, and have to admit that I did book a seat last week out of intrigue, BUT didn’t kick anyone out of it. Kicking people out is mean. I got kicked out of a seat recently and took a while to pack up in protest.

What is MOST FRUSTRATING are people who book seats and then turn up hours after their booking started. The whole thing is just chaotic but you have to respect the dedication to get a specific desk.

8. Gatekeeping subject libraries

Realistically, you should study where you want, it isn’t that deep. Newsflash, you don’t have to do engineering to study in Queens or Law to study in Wills – our UCards work for a reason. Sometimes people want to avoid their subject library because coursemates can add to the stress if they are further ahead of you in an assignment. It’s always those who gatekeep that you later see in the ASS. Are you an arts and social sciences student? I THINK NOT.

9. Heavy typers

Why are you literally trying to break your laptop? Once someone next to me was typing so hard the entire desk was shaking and again, I left. Our laptops are integral for our degrees, let’s be kind to them and not smash it up, even if it’s being slow.

10. Revolute man

Shout out to Revolute man – I respect the hustle, but please leave us alone in the libraries. The smack of the tenner on the desk makes me jump out my skin every time.