The grand return of Notts Talk to Tabitha: A fresher’s guide to societal life

Happy Thursday, loyal Tab readers. Whether you’re nursing that post-Crisis hangover or planning a big Thursday night in Shapes, you’re in the right place. I’ve got some words to soothe stressed freshers as they navigate their first month of university life.

As always, any advice given here comes with best of intentions, but it’s at the reader’s discretion to follow it if it feels right!

Let’s jump straight into it.

Societies: Good intentions, bad vibes

“Love a society for what they do but the vibes are bad, is it worth sticking out? It’s a common freshers thing so pls help the freshers.” – Stresher (stressed fresher).

Hello Stresher!

Like you say, this is all too common for you freshers. It can be daunting to turn up to your first society meeting, particularly if you’re going by yourself, and the disappointment of it not quite being what you expected can put you off going to the next one. The advice I’ll give applies to wider life as a fresher, not just those of you joining societies for the first time, so listen up and listen good.

Firstly, persevere with it. The great thing about this little nugget of wisdom is that it fits with most situations, whether it be a boring lecture or making friends in your accommodation. First impressions are important, but it’s often worth giving these things a little time to mature and develop, like a block of cheddar cheese or a fine wine.

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Go to the next meeting with an open mind. Keep an eye out for anyone who may find themselves in the same position as you and befriend them. Even if the vibe as a whole is off, it’s hard to imagine that you’re entirely alone in how you’re feeling. Persevere and you’ll find your place. If you love what the society does, as you say you do, you should hopefully be able to do this.

Secondly, if you can persevere with the society, try getting elected for a committee role. As the Dalai Lama once said: “True change comes from within”. Being on committee is a great way to continue the good work your society does, while giving you influence over its vibe. Depending on the role, this influence will vary, but at the very least it’s a good way to get your voice heard within a society.

Thirdly, trust your gut. This goes against everything I’ve written but if you’ve persevered for a few months and you still can’t find your way within the society, then perhaps it may not be for you. This seems like a loss but there are always alternatives. If it’s a sport or other physical activity, then look for local clubs to join. It’s a great way to learn the city a little more, as well as expanding your social circle.

Otherwise, find likeminded people that suit your vibe, and discuss whatever topic it may be with them. You can always set up your own society! Go crazy, girl.

To leave you with one more quote, I believe it was Rene Descartes who once said: “The first few months of uni can be tough but it all works out eventually”. Or something like that.

Preaching love and patience,

Tabitha xx

All advice dispensed is to be taken at reader’s discretion. If you have something you are struggling with, please speak to a doctor or a professional. If you are experiencing mental health concerns please speak to someone, or call or text Samaritans on 116 123 at any time. 

Related articles recommended by this author:

• Talk to Tabitha volume four: Cheaters, choices, and chicken
• Talk to Tabitha: The Tab Notts’ Agony Aunt returns
• Talk to Tabitha volume three: Dating apps, money worries and housemates from hell