The completely accurate and unbiased ranking of all Durham clubs, according to me

As I am going into my third year, I decided there is no better time to comment on Durham’s clubbing scene. I have enjoyed (if sometimes endured) arguably too many nights clubbing and now feel suitably knowledgeable to say which ones those are. So, if I had to tell you the clubs worth running down the street on a cold, rainy night to get in before the queues get too long, this is the list I would be referring to.

6.  Loft

I will preface this with I think it is more of a “not for me” scenario than it is a bad club. I spent too many Wednesday nights here, and as someone who does not like constant DnB, it was clearly not the night for me. If we add in the never-ending staircase that can always makes anyone question just how hard they have pre’d, it does rest in 6th place.

5. Babylon

Hot, sweaty and busy. This could be said for other clubs, but for whatever reason, this is the club it resonates with the most. The dance floor is alike to a wrestling match to try and move even an inch and (again) my worst enemy: Stairs. I do like their bar and it is always well-staffed but this club cannot be put any higher on my list.

4. Bohemia/Katie O’Brien’s

Basically the same thing, so we’ll rank them together. This club could be said to have been bigger than Jimmy’s in my first year but lost its popularity this past year. I am very much campaigning to bring back a Bohemia/Katie O’Briens’ night for the upcoming year and, with its fresh look, I hope it revives itself.

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3. Osbournes

It may be a small club and perhaps it is more of a bar but either way, it is a good one. A Monday night spent dancing along to their DJ drag queens (Miss Tess Tickle and Miss Emma Royd deserve this shout out) is a night that was absolutely worth it. Good music, good vibes and actually acceptable toilets – there is nothing more I could ask for from a club.

2. Jimmy’s

It is possibly a controversial take, but Jimmy’s does not take the top spot in my ranking. It may be a pillar of Durham culture and have made it into student lingo (Jimmy Allen’s to Jimmy’s to Jim’s), have the best smoking area and be the ultimate spontaneous club, but I can only take so much. In small doses, I love Jimmy’s but hearing the Jerusalem or Let it Go remix almost sends me round the bend on some nights. The queue can also have the same effect but it is (normally) worth it.

Honourable Mention: Klute

RIP.

Yes, the toilets had questionable walls and yes, you were never quite sure if upstairs was worth it but it was Klute. The home of Fractal Nights for most of this year and often holding Rock Soc events, I have had some of my best nights of second year here. I cannot explain how devastated I was when it shut.

1. Fabs

Have you belted Red Wine Supernova whilst holding a Sex on the Beach? Or clubbed with a rather realistic Pitbull holding a Live, Laugh, Love Mr Worldwide flag? And really, what other club has a balcony with comfy sofas to collapse in? I only have vibey photos from Fabs which is a solid sign of a good club. If this has not made it clear yet, Unhinged carries the Durham clubbing scene and I think my house managed at the very least every night in first term. A new goal for my third year?

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