Here is which tattoo you would get based on your York college

Chances are you’ll regret these in a few years time.


Your college is basically your entire personality when you’re a York student. It’s the first question people ask you in Freshers’ Week and it basically tells you everything you need to know about anyone you’ll ever meet.

Each college comes with their own stereotypes and reputation, whether that’s being the nerd from Alcuin or the party animal from Derwent. They are such an integral part of a York student’s identity so it would only be right to get a tattoo which best represents your college. What could possibly go wrong?

Vanbrugh – A cheesy song lyric

Situated near the music department, Vanbrugh has the reputation of housing the quirky, music loving indie kids. They usually spend their time attending jazz nights at V Bar and sitting in circles reciting poetry. Therefore, the best way for the free spirits and hippies of Vanbrugh to get across their love of music is to permanently engrave a deep and meaningful song lyric onto themselves.

This tattoo is very meaningful to them so no judgment is allowed, otherwise they may spiral into a philosophical questioning about their decisions which may result in an existential crisis.

Derwent – Long Boi

Being one of the founding colleges at York, Derwent has a deep routed history and culture. It is mainly known as the party college and definitely has the worst accommodation. There isn’t much going for Derwent apart from Long Boi, the infamous nearly metre tall duck who once lived (RIP little guy) right on their doorstep.

A Derwenter would probably get this tattoo on a drunken night out.

Alcuin – Their Harry Potter house

Known as the nerdy college it is very unlikely that the average Alcuin resident would even be able to get at tattoo. They just wouldn’t have the time between study sessions at the library (which is thankfully right on their doorstep) and quidditch practice. However, if they were to get a tattoo, it would without a doubt be their Hogwarts house.

Halifax – The most generic tattoo to exist

There isn’t much going on in Halifax nor does it have a particularly strong reputation. Its accommodation is technically on west campus, but really its about a ten minute walk away, including a very scary alleyway which no one would ever willingly walk down at night.

Housing the largest number of students, Halifax contains a broad variety of people, most of whom probably didn’t actually want to live in Halifax but just got given it. Therefore, being perhaps the most generic college, it would only be right for them to also have the most generic tattoo to exist, whether that’s their mum’s birthday or a simple flower.

James – A tattoo dedicated to their sports team

Being the only entirely catered college, James is filled with those who are used to the boarding school lifestyle and aren’t quite ready to live completely independently. Due to their lack of independence their tattoo was probably not something they properly thought through. Being the sporty college, they would definitely get a tattoo dedicated to their sports team.

They will also get it out at any opportunity without being asked, especially in the Flares smoking area on a Wednesday.

Wentworth – No tattoos here

Wentworth is the only postgraduate college on campus and probably the most forgettable. The students here stick to themselves, likely because they are actually concerned about their futures and careers so probably don’t have time to get tattoos. Or maybe they simply don’t get any due to the fear of it ruining their job prospects.

Constantine/Langwith – A tattoo dedicated to their horse

It’s only fair to group these two colleges together because the only difference between them is the colour schemes inside the accommodation. Both these colleges are filled with privately educated and trust fund babies living off their parents’ money. They have the highest association with being Tories and frankly just have money to burn.

The average resident in Langwith and Constantine likely owns several acres of land, including a stable with their very precious horses. They got this tattoo just before they moved to university, likely following a holiday to Dubai or to their family home in the south of France, so that they would never be parted from their dear favourite horse.

Goodricke – A fine-line tattoo

When you think of Goodricke what do you think of? I’m assuming not much. The same goes for their tattoo.

Goodricke situated on East Campus but isn’t quite as nice as either Langwith or Constantine so it isn’t filled with the same crowd. Meaning it can be considered the most ‘normal’ college on East Campus, if a little boring. The students who live their probably have their department be on east and therefore chose it for the convenience but didn’t want to pay Langwith or Constantine prices.

Their subtle personalities would be reflected in an understated fine line tattoo.

Anne Lister/David Kato – Something extravagant, but only as compensation

https://www.instagram.com/p/CpSxSuKDO3T/

Being the two newest colleges, they don’t have a reputation yet. Their accommodation is definitely the nicest so they have the money to afford getting very intricate tattoos.

However, has anyone actually met anyone from these colleges? Therefore to make up for their lack of personality or reputation they’d have to get something that stands out, whether that’s patchwork or a huge detailed tattoo.

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