People are sharing their awkward first date stories and now I never want to date again

If there is one universal experience that bonds us all most on the hell-hole that is planet Earth, it’s the horror of the awkward first date. You’ve only been talking for a week or two, and if you met on a dating app you’ve never even seen what they properly look like. The night before the first date you start to stress, sending five different outfit options to the group chat and getting your mates to hype you up.

You spend the whole journey there praying it won’t be awkward, but once you arrive, the first date can go one of two ways. First, you lock eyes and immediately fall in love, have lots of sex, get married and live together for the rest of your lives. Scientifically speaking, this is 0.01 per cent of first dates – the rest of us have to make do with a date who refuses to make eye contact and doesn’t ask you a single question about yourself, meaning you spend the entire time trying to think of an excuse to escape. Or, even more horrifyingly, your date might suddenly decide your first date is the perfect time to do a freestyle rap to you.

Now please read these 18 most awkward first date stories, that will make you want to stay single forever:

1. TWO POUNDS

When he made us walk back to the nearest ATM because I didn't have £2 for my chips and they didn't take card payments. https://t.co/vabCme9I17

— Mollie Munro Quirk (@missmolliequirk) April 15, 2021

2. The most expensive first date ever

https://twitter.com/corey_jamesx/status/1382490262241435650?s=21

3. That’s … not what that means

The menu said the burger was served “Medium” he goes “nah I want it Large”. I explained that’s not what it meant but he proceeded to request a large from the waiter anyway 😣 https://t.co/MRCh1sG5BK

— annette abena (@annetteabena) April 14, 2021

4. I mean, this is understandable

my first tinder date was in edinburgh was with a scottish girl who thought i was also scottish and as soon as she heard the english accent in me she spent half an hour holding me personally responsible for the many crimes of england against scotland https://t.co/8dRXuzMsSv

— DJ BBQ (@stepheniscowboy) April 14, 2021

5. No this is horrific

https://twitter.com/itschrissybbyy/status/1382087451867541508?s=20

6. I mean, yep

All of them x https://t.co/8MrjPo4583

— Amelia Dimoldenberg (@ameliadimz) April 14, 2021

7. Okay but why would you do this?

He was going to make me dinner and asked if there were any foods I didn’t eat. I said no because there’s only two things I don’t like: veal and eggplant and I figured what are the odds of that. I showed up to his place and he v proudly was like “I made eggplant stuffed with veal” https://t.co/98VRBaDDEr

— Danielle Sepulveres 🌻 (@ellesep) April 14, 2021

8. Crying

https://twitter.com/darrenhayes/status/1382207447939489792?s=20

9. UHHHHH

https://twitter.com/kindly_fuck0ff/status/1382158814359785476?s=20

10. One word: Run

via Twitter

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11. Very nice of them to wait

Went on a coffee date. About an hour in, diarrhea hits me out of nowhere. Spent like 20 minutes in the bathroom; and they ended up waiting for me. Was honestly shocked they waited https://t.co/8FAgocskxF

— Adam (@RpplWtrShn) April 14, 2021

12. ‘So it all started when I was one hour old’

https://twitter.com/AlexontheMic/status/1382339879451856898?s=20

13. ‘Should I do a little rap to lighten the mood?’

He freestyle rapped to me in the car on the way home. https://t.co/8MhJVt5J7x

— 𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕖 (@bged_) April 14, 2021

14. Okay who was gonna tell me this was a universal experience?

https://twitter.com/eljvdl/status/1382168230677020672?s=20

15. EVERYWHERE

I went to put my arm around a girl while we were watching a movie and elbowed her in the nose. There was blood everywhere. https://t.co/2dfGIuOfzR

— Matt Heiniger (@HeinigeronSport) April 13, 2021

16. Meeting the parents at the same time as you meet them, what could go wrong?

https://twitter.com/strwbrryleaf/status/1382486039386681345?s=20

17. This is the biggest ick I have ever read

one time a guy sang to me in public on a first date and i let out a little chuckle and i felt so mean but also who does that https://t.co/S0aexVJPiU

— jordie (@MilwaukeePD) April 14, 2021

18. Just let me disappear forever, thanks

when i demanded to pay and then my card got declined https://t.co/lff6Ruz4Ft

— lainey (@gingerxmint) April 14, 2021

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