Everything you’ll know if your entire relationship has taken place during lockdown
Zoom dates are the only dates I know
Getting into a relationship in the middle of a global pandemic isn’t at the forefront of most people’s minds. However, for some lockdown was the perfect opportunity to find a new partner.
And if you are one of the few who managed to get into a relationship whilst the world was in chaos then you’ll know there are a certain number of things that relate to lockdown relationships, and only these relationships.
This is not about couples who have been together for three years and then locked down together, that’s just a taste of their future. No this is about the couples that met just before or as lockdown was starting and decided a national health crisis was the perfect time to start dating.
Lockdown relationships can ran at 100 miles an hour, with people meeting the parents, moving in, having sex for the first time all on the same day because you’ve decided to jump the gun and just live together for the foreseeable future. If this is you, I admire your bravery/naivety to live with someone you had two drunken dates with.
However on the other hand your lockdown relationship could be moving at a glacial pace thanks to travel restrictions and you not being insane enough to move in together after one mini golf date. Your relationship seems practically Austen-esque at the speed at which everything is going. Touching is forbidden, you’re only communicating through words and your parents are heavily invested in your relationship.
Either way, if you’ve started a lockdown relationship you will be familiar with the following 39 things all too well:
1. You met just before lockdown and were excited for a first date, before it was shat all over by the pandemic.
2. Or you somehow managed to find a partner in the middle of a pandemic.
3. This was naturally on Hinge.
4. Your first real date probably took place in June.
5. And when it eventually happened it felt like something out of Bridgerton.
6. You walked round a park, keeping your distance from each other and if your hands accidentally touched you checked no one saw.
7. In the mean time you had lots and lots of FaceTime dates.
8. Which you definitely did your makeup for despite having nowhere to go.
9. There were literally hours and hours of phone calls.
10. You even did Netflix Party together just to feel something.
11. You definitely questioned if you liked them or were just super bored during lockdown.
12. You debated whether the sex was going to be good enough to break lockdown for.
13. But in the end you just settled for sexting, sexy voice notes and videos.
14. Which is weird when you haven’t actually had sex with the person yet.
15. You may have got super serious and confirmed your relationship before even meeting them.
16. And when you did eventually met up it was a bit odd and awkward actually being in their presence.
17. If you had already met them before lockdown, things might have moved really quickly.
18. Like moving in after three dates together quick.
19. You met their parents the day you became official.
20. Your relationship became super charged and you suddenly started planning your wedding.
21. I’m talking rings, charger plates and debating whether you want a destination or city wedding.
22. You discovered all their bad habits real quick, who knew someone could be so annoying brushing their teeth?
23. And what is technically only a one month relationship feels like it’s already five years deep.
24. You enjoyed a stress free month in summer when you could actually go on normal dates, with a mask of course.
25. When you said goodbye you’d always have to pull your mask down, and if it was in a train station you felt like a proper rule breaker.
26. You definitely questioned if they were being cheap by only taking you for dates on Eat Out to Help Out days.
27. You were absolutely crushed that because of the 2nd lockdown you couldn’t do all the cute winter date activites.
28. You realise that all your friends low key hate you because you’ve become insufferable complaining about not seeing your partner.
29. There have been some very dry moments in your conversations because there is literally nothing to talk about.
30. You have about two photos together on account of never getting to see them.
31. You feel as if your relationship is now incredibly romantic, forbidden and like something out of a film because you’re not allowed to see each other.
32. When in reality you’re just stuck in your childhood bedrooms on Zoom because a blonde man who hasn’t brushed his hair in months said you can’t leave the house.
33. You once left a top at theirs and have defo shed a tear knowing you might not get it back for two to three months thanks to the pandemic.
33. Christmas was a minefield, are you seeing them? Are you not? Who knows? Not you.
35. You’ve honestly got bored of saying “I miss you”, it’s just a constant of being at this point.
36. New Year’s Eve was going to be the highlight of your year together, except you just ended up sending each other a text thanks to the tiers.
37. Now we’re in lockdown three you’re starting to think Boris Johnson has a personal vendetta against your love life.
38. And you don’t even want to think about the depressing prospect of a Zoom Valentine’s Day date.
39. You’ve basically given up the hope of ever seeing them again, but it was nice whilst it lasted.