Liverpool students tell us their wildest pre-Covid clubbing stories

We all miss clubbing, and that is a sad fact. To inject some nostalgia into these depressing times, we decided to ask you guys your craziest pre-Covid clubbing stories- and some of you are absolutely wild.

Although clubbing may seem like a thing of the distant past, the embarrassment and shame that you experience in those moments cling to you forever, and if you can’t laugh about it, what else can you do?

i never thought id be saying this but damn i miss clubbing sm

— shay™☼🏄🏽‍♂️ (@spicywonu) February 11, 2021

Here is a complete list of some of the most insane clubbing stories sent to us by fellow students. Either enjoy or cringe if it’s about you.

‘There was a shit on the dance floor, didn’t notice until I’d actually stepped in it’

Not really sure why Liverpool has such a pooing in clubs problem, but this is a sure-fire way to kill your vibe. The sheer smell of your trainers was probably putting off potential pulls left right and centre. On another note, how did no one notice someone having a poo in the middle of the dance floor in the first place?

u a monster if u take a poo in the club

— jo (@macaronislutt) August 31, 2020

‘My mate shat himself in a club and didn’t leave until closing’

Another poo related one, starting to think Liverpool students should start taking Immodium before a night out. I thought the bloke who stepped in poo would smell but I can only imagine the stench coming off this one. Didn’t stop them from partying though, and I suppose this is the kind of persevering attitude we’ll need when clubs open again.

‘We shagged in club toilets’

Ahhh a welcome classic. So filthy and yet no one seems to care at the time. The many scared attempts to sneak into the toilet, the smirks on your faces as you leave, it’s all part of that good old university experience. It’s almost as much of a ritual as drunkenly calling your ex 50 times on the St. Luke’s steps.

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If you’ve ever had sex in a club bathroom, you don’t need to worry about what’s in the vaccine, you already got it.

— Milly (@insommilly) December 28, 2020

‘Went home with a bouncer – he was 30 years older than me’

On one hand, I’d be thinking you can skip a few queues and maybe get some free tickets out of this, and age is just a number. On the other hand, that is just a bit too old, but how did you not notice? Did he just look really good for his age? Or were you just thinking about free entry?

‘My mate gave a guy passed out on the street the kiss of life and then started getting with him’

I mean, if you’re already there I suppose you might as well. Can’t miss a great opportunity like that, plus they did basically save his life, so they deserve a snog really.

I low key miss kissing men in the club with no cares in the world. Early 20s were a wild time.

— tan. (@yo_tannn) December 16, 2020

Listen to me: We are manifesting clubs opening either later on this year or sometime next year. Words cannot express how many more of these stories will happen, and they will certainly be 100 per cent crazier.

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