There’s a special place reserved in hell for this Biffy Clyro cover of WAP

Yesterday, Biffy Clyro went into the BBC Radio One Live Lounge and, for some absolutely unfathomable reason, chose to do a cover of WAP. It is categorically the worst thing that has ever been posted on the Internet and, to be perfectly frank, everyone involved in its production should be locked up.

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s WAP is the new anthem the entire world, but especially TikTok, is obsessed with. It stands for Wet Ass Pussy, but for reasons only known to Biffy Clyro themselves, for the cover they chose to change it to Wet As Biffy. Why, God, WHY? What did we do to deserve this?

So here it is: Wet As Biffy, in all its glory. It’s not on YouTube yet, but Radio One tweeted it out. They inexplicably tagged Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion too, as if they’d reply the absolute shit-show like: “OMG babes thank u sooo much I love this!! We should collab some time x”. It’s so cringe that you really don’t want to watch it, but you have to, like when something’s gone really mouldy in the fridge and it’s so gross you can’t look away and instead just stare at it in horror-stuck awe:

Things we didn't expect to tweet during 2020:

Here's @BiffyClyro covering 'WAP' (now 'WAB') by @iamcardib and Megan @TheeStallion 👀 #R1LiveLoungeMonth pic.twitter.com/mREuzaAi6K

— BBC Radio 1 (@BBCR1) September 3, 2020

It is absolutely vile, and they should be arrested. Not a single second of the entire video is morally or legally acceptable, and I would like someone to please invent a machine that will wipe it from the memory of all human history, forever.

You know in the Netflix show The Good Place, where a specific version of hell is created for each person? I used to think mine would be standing in Leicester Square at rush hour, surrounded by tourists and pigeons for all eternity, but now I know my own personal hell will involve being locked in a padded cell, with Biffy Clyro’s WAB Live Lounge cover blaring at me from all angles, for the rest of time.

Look, Radio One Live Lounge covers can actually be great. When I was younger even I had a whole CD of them. Hozier covering Ariana Grande’s Problem? Sublime. Harry Styles covering Lizzo’s Juice? Nothing short of sheer perfection. But it is simply an objective fact that Biffy Clyro covering WAP is an absolute crime against the ears of every single living being on this Earth.

Here’s what everyone had to say about Biffy Clyro’s Live Lounge cover of WAP:

1. A disease

A truly diabolical thing that will ruin your day and remind you that men are – and always will be – a disease. https://t.co/wX8ihkGPJI

— douglas greenwood (@douglasgrnwd) September 3, 2020

2. 2020 is really testing me

via Twitter

3. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this

https://twitter.com/_jggg/status/1301518930465480706

4. Thanks, Hot Takes Mumma

Hot take:
This is shit.#FridayThoughts #hottakes #iffybiffy https://t.co/bnN9i6E8vh

— Hot Takes: Love Island (@HotTakesMumma) September 4, 2020

5. This year’s gone from bad to worse

https://twitter.com/drnkonhaIloween/status/1301490061779841024

6. ‘Probably’

Can’t lie…. this is probably the worst thing I’ve heard https://t.co/YjVCVnmvl3

— l. anderson (@Leomie_Anderson) September 3, 2020

7. I agree wholeheartedly

we've been through so much this year but i think that biffy clyro cover of WAP might be the thing that finally kills me

— beth (@urpalbeth) September 3, 2020

Most Read

Gone but not forgotten: Honouring the 13 Glee cast members who have passed away

Monster’s lead star explains why Aileen Wuornos was clumsily shoved into Lizzie Borden show

40 years later, one of the Unsolved Mysteries cold cases has just been solved

8. Love my new sleep paralysis demon x

had sleep paralysis this morning and biffy clyro doing WAP was at the end of my bed

— Aarush Khanna (@TheDayTripper62) September 3, 2020

9. Please no

https://twitter.com/poth0le/status/1301618565360033792

10. I have BROKEN

It's been a deeply stressful year but let it be known that this is what sent me over the edge. https://t.co/tNiTH28nLb

— Armani Syed (@armani_sy) September 4, 2020

11. I cannot emphasise this enough

via Twitter

12. I don’t know, but they need to be

https://twitter.com/MrUnmotivated/status/1301767024453070849

13. Who even knows any more

https://twitter.com/camyardley/status/1301641654760280064

14. Vomit, everywhere

biffy clyro did WAP in the live lounge and said “wet ass biffy” I think I might actually be sick

— ethan (@human_dis4ster) September 3, 2020

15. The GC does not approve

https://twitter.com/han_louisecook/status/1301559065454272520

16. Personally, same

well i personally wish this didn’t exist https://t.co/CDZmZtj8Yb

— sophie 🥀 (@hangsamans) September 3, 2020

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Everyone’s rinsing this awful advert about going back to work in the office

• I don’t know about you, but mentally I am here with these 33 hilarious memes

• The sexual tension between you and these 25 sexual tension memes is unmatched