The best places to chunder in Oxford

A guide to help you find the best places to do the technicoloured yawn on a night out.

Behind Posh Nosh

Who hasn’t had to free up some space for their perfect cheesy chips and kebab?

It’s worth it for the kebab.

Next to the golden letterbox on Div Road

Nothing says classy like puking near the pride of the local area, someone won an Olympic medal for that just for you to desecrate it.

Gold medal for desecrating this guys garden. And the pride of the local community

Wahoo toilets

It’s Fuzzies- the greatest night of the week, and you decided to turn up late to your sport society and they punished you for it. Now half a bottle of tequila is finding it’s way back out along with the pasta you quickly had before you left.

Piss Alley

The definition of a good place to do a tactical. Primely located on the way from the bus stop to Bridge, Wahoo, Thirst and Plush, and conveniently close to Emporium. Can also be used on the way back to 001 and will save you £50 cleanup for not doing it in the taxi, thank me later.

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It is difficult to avoid all the piss and puke at nighttime

The Cellar and Purple Turtle alleyway

This is great for when it’s all closed down, and you’ve just had a bit to much McDonald’s (maybe 20 McNuggets and a Big Mac meal was a little over the top?) but if PT and Cellar are still open  I’m sure the bouncers will forget your face. I promise.

Someones cheeseburger has come back up

South Park

Had too much on Cowley and slogging it back up to Cheney or have an early morning library session? Well this place is perfect as there are many trees, lots of privacy. Just mind the odd police man lurking round.

So much space to choose from/stereotypical nice edited photo of South Park.

Off Magdalen Bridge

Decided to walk/jog back? Feeling ill but don’t want to have to go off route? Well you could wake up some ducks by doing it off this centrally located bridge. If you’re skilled enough, you won’t even have to stop jogging.

10 points for hitting a boat. 20 if there’s someone in it.