York students: Here are the five biggest lies we tell ourselves after Freshers’ Week

Everyone has been there and yes, even well intentioned lies count

3 months ago

September brings with it cold days, falling leaves, and of course Freshers’ Week! But now that it’s over and October has rolled around, these are the biggest lies you’ll start hearing on campus.

1. ‘I will never drink that much again’

A phrase uttered time and time again from hungover students after a heavy night in Revs. “I will never get that drunk again”, “I will never drink again” or “I can’t do this anymore” are also variations of this lie. After a four night bender during Freshers’ it’s an understandable goal and yet so many students find themselves under Jason Riley’s hypnosis and back in the clubs next week.

The truth is students forget time and time again how much they can handle and end up inevitably drinking more than they can stomach, and spending way too much in Salt and Pepper or Maccies after crying in the bathrooms of the club.

2. ‘I will go to all my lectures this semester’

The noble announcement of all well meaning freshers, planning to hang up their clubbing outfits and get their head down with some work. That is until 9am rolls around and they snooze their alarms one too many times. Lecture capture sits there unwatched after the claims of catching up after were confidently sent on the group chat. We’ve all been there.

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The worst offenders are the returners who claim their clubbing days are over and their degree is too intense this year to fall behind, but watch out for them in Ziggy’s, VK in hand and singing a little too off tune even for a club. They’ll miss their first lecture and claim it’s okay because it was just an introduction.

3. ‘That flatcest was a one off’

You know you’re lying and so do your flatmates. Unfortunately, the walls of student accommodations are not that thick and everyone knows that you’ve been texting your sneaky link to room hop from theirs to yours. You’ve heard that it’s a bad idea and so you try to keep it a secret, but it will always get out and it will always be messy.

Maybe you’re the exception and you’ll stay friends or stay together. But more likely you’ll get bored by Christmas or be annoyed that they won’t put a label on things – it will just make for a very awkward second semester. You’ll hate yourself for signing up for another year of living together and the rest of your housemates may resent you too if they have to end up picking sides.

4. ‘I’ll put that away once it’s dry’

The kitchen. The room in the house which causes the most arguments. Everyone starts the year off being so polite with their kitchen habits, washing up, and putting things away as soon as it needs to be done. However, quickly after Freshers’ Week it descends into chaos.

There is something about seeing your flatmates chunder all over themselves outside of Salvos that makes you think, “I can leave this plate for tonight”. But tonight turns into three nights and soon the sink is stacked with plates and you can’t help but touch the slightly moulding pasta in your housemate’s pan. And while many passive aggressive texts will be sent into group chats, students will push the limits of food hygiene. You can hope and pray for a dishwasher next year but for now let’s not cry over spilt milk.

5. ‘I was really lucky with my flatmates’

Everyone puts their best foot forward in Freshers’ Week before you get comfortable with each other. You might be thinking “wow, everyone is so dramatic about bad flatmates”, and you will keep telling yourself, and others, that as they slowly show their true colours and turn into, possibly, the worst people you’ve ever met. All the plans for flat Sunday dinners and movie nights fly out the window as you realise you couldn’t be more different.

Hopefully, everyone stays civil and you don’t jump into next year’s housing too quick so you can make an easy escape. Even better if your house is full of friends for life, but students tell this lie every year and it just goes to show that you need to make friends outside your flat by talking to people on your course and joining societies.