Um guys, we checked out *that* computer science ‘misused’ toilet and it was actually clean

The Uni of York has a new big name on campus, but it’s not any student celebrities or long-boi reincarnations, this time it’s a certain accessible toilet cubicle that has reportedly been THROUGH IT so far this semester. It’s a story that keeps me up at night, so naturally we had to go and see the crime scene for ourselves.

Last week the computer science department had to send students a guide on how to use a toilet following several occurrences of “unpleasant mess” in their ground floor accessible cubicle. The email, seen by The York Tab, suggested that students had been getting a little creative with their toilet habits over on Campus East.

Well yesterday, the saga continued, as students received a second email warning that the perpetrator(s) had stuck again. Clearly displeased, the head of the department has warned that he will pursue the matter in the “strongest possible way” to ensure that those responsible are dealt the “fullest consequences” for their “shameful behaviour”.

What are people doing to this poor toilet? How does the department intend to catch the perps? What are the “fullest consequences” for toilet “misuse”? Here’s a look inside the toilet that’s been through hell and back:

Tucked away behind Goodricke College on East Campus lies the computer science building. Normally I wouldn’t pay it much mind – its out of the way and technology scares me – but students at York recently haven’t been able to escape it.

Whilst I don’t know for certain what went down in this building that was so bad its led a whole department to go all Agatha Shit-stie on its students, their first email did leave some hints.

Instructing students on how to use the loo, the email reminded it’s readers that “the only place [they] should be going to the toilet is IN the toilet, sinks are for washing your hands, and toilet brush holders are for holding toilet brushes”, leading many to suspect that someone may have used the latter two facilities for some personal business.

If you haven’t been, you walk through those revolving doors and are greeted by a 3D printer and an actual robot that stared into my soul and made me immediately uncomfortable. Turn the corner however, and there lies the infamous ground floor accessible toilet.

From the tone of their last email, I expected high security, passive aggressive laminated warning signs, maybe even cameras. Instead, everything seemed pretty standard, just your average campus bog.

Having awkwardly smiled at a receptionist trying really hard not to look suspicious, I opened the door and to my relief, it was nice and clean.

So there it is, the York comp sci toilet that has apparently been through hell and back. Maybe the department broke through and the perpetrators have stopped, offering comp sci (more importantly the cleaners) peace at last.

But, as a young J-Beebs said, “never say never” – this saga could be far from over. I still have so many questions and I’m not sure if I even want the answers.

If you hear or see anything related to this story, give us a dm on our insta @theyorktab.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• York students sent guide on how to use toilet after ‘unpleasant mess’ left in uni bathroom

• York students threatened with ‘disciplinary’ action after continued ‘misuse’ of uni toilet

• The York Tab is looking for new writers: Come write for us!