From Post-it Notes to empty bottles: A review of your best York college window displays
Let’s just say it is blatantly obvious which colleges gifted stationery in their welcome packs
We scoured the University of York campus, Halifax and all, to find the very best and very worst window displays. As two second years who have seen every traffic cone, alcohol bottle and stolen sign; prepare for a critical inspection of your efforts…
Alcuin
We tiptoed into its silent grounds, fearing the windows would be as quiet as its stereotype. To our surprise, one singular flat’s window saved what we anticipated would be a scathing review detailing Alcuin’s absent humour.
Whilst this flat were lovely, we can’t give free publicity to Sophie’s flat for their varying offers, including both feet and debauchery.
We do apologise if our chatting raised any noise complaints for the quietest college on campus.
Anne Lister
A shark, a jellyfish, a worm, Long Boi 2.0, we sensed an animal theme here. Anne lister? more like Noah’s Ark.
From even the harshest critics, we have to say that we were quite impressed by the sheer variety and detail of the creatures adorning the windows.
House seven for life – well, at least until Christmas…
Star of our hearts and every single supplies cupboard on campus. Quite possibly an ode to the weekly kitchen clean (or maybe just to sweeten up the cleaners to avoid a cross); he is Lister’s proudest window.
Constantine
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The residents of Constantine are evidently above doing frivolous things, reflected in their bare windows. The exception to such frivolity being the Connie barbs and mum-lovers.
David Kato
This college was not welcoming back it’s old residents with open arms. While we did enjoy our brief stint as 007, sneaking into the heavily barricaded grounds of Kato, we would like to reinforce last year’s petition to OPEN THE GATES.
Slayto – let’s be honest, this lacks originality. PSA we’ve been informed that it’s pronounced “k-aa-t-oh”.
We cannot not make it too easy for you. After employing the help of Google, we decided that you must take the time to translate it yourself, for the full effect.
We know freshers like to drink. Is this the size of your pre’s bottle? If so, where do you get them, asking for a friend x
A bit of self promotion never hurt anybody; we’ve certainly come a long way from Alcuin’s foot funding endeavours, neither of which exactly exude artistic flair.
Derwent
A dismal effort from a founding college. Steeped in history, we had great hopes for the windows of Derwent, but alas, the brutalist architecture was enough; the freshers knew that no Post-it Note would save this concrete jungle. This was all we could find.
The students have spoken. We couldn’t possibly comment.
Goodricke
East’s underdog firming its stereotype with Post-it personality, thank goodness it finally has one. First up we found a subjective display (there appear to be many of these). We will let you fight this one out in the comments.
Didn’t realise we had travelled back to 2020 but appreciate the nostalgia.
Have we missed something? We know we are second years, but we are surely not that far behind the youth of today. Goodricke’s time travelling seemingly extends to tv cartoons too, with a SpongeBob epidemic haunting many of the college’s windows. This cast reunion of SpongeBob further proving that animals are not limited to Lister.
And finally saving the best until last …
Goodricke, you have truly outdone yourself. The hallmark of QR decor; Kato sank so that you could swim. You know the game and you’ve played it.
Although, we do suspect you have caused a York-wide shortage of Post-it Notes.
Halifax
Considering this is York’s largest college, we were met with minimal effort. Although, maybe there is no need to decorate the windows as only the residents of Halifax will bother to travel so far.
Do we think it was worth the walk? No, we do not. From the bricked up doors to the ominous blacked out windows, it was quickly concluded that our first time to Halifax would also be our last.
James
You have fulfilled James college’s sporting stereotype with your successful traffic cone heist.
Although, we have noticed that there appears to be somewhat of an identity crisis at play: Your heist also achieved a plant sign bearing Vanburgh’s name. Not quite the college pride we’d have expected at this point in the year.
Apart from this slight deviation from traditional college culture, and after a brief search on Urban Dictionary, the “game is game” display certainly confirms James’ identity once and for all.
Wouldn’t be a uni flat without displays of alcoholic achievement – we get it, you like to drink. Whilst we appreciate this side of the display, we wouldn’t recommend sorting out flat drama quite so publicly, “delulu” or not.
Langwith
As you enter Langwith’s vicinity you will be greeted with a warm welcome …
… swiftly followed by an overwhelming sense of emptiness: It seems this college only comes out at night. Langwith is evidently too preoccupied maintaining their status as the party animals of York to decorate their flats.
Status? Maintained. Windows? Disappointing.
Vanbrugh
This flat has the humour of 12 old boys and we love it. There is nothing more to say; we laughed.
This is a desperate attempt from Vanburgh, an unmistakable cry for help in the absence of Post-it Notes. Get your act together – boob can’t be your only redeeming college decor.
Our Conclusions
This venture has taught us three things:
- East is home to the Post-it Picassos, except from Constantine who do not affiliate themselves with such frivolity
- Our step count strongly suggests that Halifax ought to be officially re-named Campus South
- Freshers will never cease to be proud of their empty alcohol bottle displays
PSA: To anyone that witnessed us peeking inside campus accommodation and taking photos of your windows – don’t worry it was purely for this hard-hitting research.
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