These are all the London uni stereotypes, according to a non-London student

Amidst the frenzy and excitement of Freshers’ Week, it may be difficult to picture what kind of student you’ll be in the years to come. 

But don’t worry, we are here to tell you exactly what students across the country will think about you based purely on what London uni offer you accepted. 

Whether you’re a quarter zip wearing Tory toff or a study-steady woman in STEM, an outsider will be able to tell what uni you go to from a mile away.

UCL 

Sure, UCL is currently one of the top ranking universities in the world. Let’s make a drinking game: Take a shot every time a UCL student brings this fact up. I already feel dizzy. If you go to UCL you will be seen by students nationwide as an Oxbridge reject – but at least you’re not at Durham or Exeter so you still have a claim to fame with “no I didn’t want to go to Oxbridge.” You probably while away your summers doing corporate internships and cosplaying your inevitable nine to nine office job in consulting or finance. LinkedIn is your preferred social media and you quietly comfort yourself by feeling superior to King’s. 

LSE

Repeat what you read above but take away any element of a social life. Students across the UK see you as a trust fund sponsored rich kid who has one goal and one goal only – to sell out as soon as possible. Rocking a gilet and white collared shirt, you rarely leave the library except to drink your 10th Pret of the day. You pretend to be bothered by the increase from £20 to £30 a month for your caffeine addiction, but you’re more than happy to spend £200 a week on other sources of stimulation. 

KCL

You’ll encounter similar stereotypes to LSE and UCL but unfortunately you weren’t just rejected from Oxbridge but rejected from Oxbridge, LSE and UCL. You’re probably a war studies sigma male or an international relations girlie, but either way you have a questionable (and limited) world view. You pay £300 a week to live in a cardboard box in private halls but at least you don’t have to share a bathroom. You do have a social life, but it is confined to the luxury cinema in the basement of your accommodation block that always smells like feet. You like to imagine that King’s has beef with UCL but in reality the competition was settled when the UCAS offers came in. 

Imperial 

Let’s do an experiment to test the relationship between excelling at science and having social skills – oh wait, ICL has been doing that for years (and the relation is clearly inverse). Sure, you’re probably smarter than all the other London students, but unfortunately your social life is limited to talking at people about how you’re just as good as UCL even though you’re ranked a bit below them. While most other London unis are in central locations surrounded by bars, clubs, and restaurants, you’re trapped in South Kensington where the biggest attraction is the science museum. Although for you, that was probably the clincher in deciding to go to Imperial. 

UOL 

If you’re at any of the other UOL unis, you probably don’t have a stereotype as nobody outside of London has heard of you. But not to worry – either way you have “earned” a business and management degree to prove to daddy that you’re ready to take over the family business.

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