The weirdest things Lancaster Tab writers have had to google for an article

Sacrificing my search history for the Tab

Having to write strange or interesting articles comes with the territory of being a writer for the Tab. What people don’t consider though, is how often you have search up some really weird things to add into a piece. Here, we have compiled a list of some of the strangest and most random things that writers for the Lancaster Tab have had to google for a piece.

‘The origins of pinot grigio’

We all love to indulge in a bit of pinot from time to time (said as someone who doesn’t like wine), but have we ever stopped to think about where it comes from? What is its history?

Although this is definitely something that we have never thought to look into before, it does sound like it would be quite educational and pretty interesting to learn about.

‘Ant and Dec costume’

They are British icons, and so we don’t blame you for wanting to dress up like them. They have so many looks that it must have been extremely difficult to pick just one, although a personal favourite has to be PJ and Duncan.

‘How much a toilet seat costs’

Definitely random, but also kind of useful. I mean, who knows when you’ll have to know where the cheapest place to get one from is off the top of your head?

It’s just something that no-one ever really thinks about, but everyone needs and uses it on a daily basis. One day you will be grateful for this knowledge.

‘A few rough things about vomit when I did the housemate horrors article’

If there is one thing that we could all do with knowing less about, it’s vomit. This one really is a bit grim, we’re just grateful that we weren’t the people in the actual stories who had to deal with it.

Hearing about vomit is enough, we don’t need to see it.

‘The price of a 5L tub of duck and swan feed for a quiz’

For a university where ducks are a very much an integral part of our identity, we’re surprised that they don’t stock this one in Spar. Given that bread is bad for our little friends (take this as your warning not to feed them bread please), we really should have some dedicated food just for them.

Although, if this was the case I imagine they would definitely put on a lot of weight from being overfed by all the students, so perhaps it is for the best.

‘Can Circuit Laundry sue a student’

Students definitely have a complicated relationship with Circuit Laundry. Yes, it washes our clothes, but at what cost?

We think that this is something that a lot of different people have wondered, regardless of whether they have ever written for the Tab or not. The answer is that it really depends on what you have done.

Googling requests from the Sugar requests box

Ah, the Sugarhouse requests. Honestly, we don’t know what they expected when they gave students free reign over their song requests. Sometimes, you’ll get an absolute banger through, and sometimes you get the strangest and most random song ever.

Joking aside, whilst it lasted, this request system was a surprisingly effective way of keeping yourself entertained whilst in the queue, and when your silly request actually got played it made your night.

‘Whale vomit’

We just can’t escape the vomit here at Lancs Tab, can we?

This one does not belong to a drunk student however, and as it turns out is actually quite rare and worth a lot of money. The same cannot be said for vomit we would usually see. Maybe this is the one type of vomit we wouldn’t mind coming across, keep every other type away though please.

‘How many bottles of mould spray you can buy with the money we lose from strikes’

This is a very, very specific question. Mould spray is a life saver, so knowing how much more of it we could afford does hurt a little bit. For anyone curious (who hasn’t already done the quiz that this was a part of) the answer is 1036. That is enough to clean even the most run-down of student bathrooms.

‘The Sugarmouse’

Not everyone knows that this mascot exists, and the moment you first see the Sugarmouse in person is truly one you will never forget. This elusive figure is one of legend, and one we all have to look up from time to time to make sure that it does in fact exist, and didn’t just spawn from some dark corner of our imagination.

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