Six ways you’ve saved money and time at Glasgow Uni using girl maths

If you haven’t been living under a rock for the last couple of months, you have probably seen the Girl Maths theory trending on TikTok. Assuming that you haven’t, let us briefly explain it to you.

Everyone will reluctantly admit that sometimes we use interesting logic to justify some of our less necessary purchases. This is what girl maths is all about. However, girl maths isn’t all about money, it is simply a collection of entertaining logic to justify your bad decisions and mild inconveniences.  

So, you may be wondering, is this relevant to me? Well, now it is, as we will be compiling a list of Glasgow Uni’s own girl maths.   

1. You can’t be late for a lecture in the St Andrews building

Infamous for Glasgow University students and lecturers alike, the St Andrews building sits inconveniently far away from pretty much everything else. Anyone who has ever had a class there will know that half the class will arrive, out of breath and concerningly late. And honestly, it’s unsurprising with the walk from the Main Building to the St Andrews building being at least 10 minutes long.

So, if you do turn up late, don’t worry everyone else probably did too. So, you simply aren’t late, girl maths.   

2. If you have a subway card, taking the subway is free

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Yes, I know, it isn’t actually free. But if you aren’t buying a ticket on entry, at the time it is free. That’s just how it works. Not only that but you save time at the ticket office and are less likely to miss the train. That is until you have the traumatising experience of having to shell out a tenner to top it up and your dreams of free travel temporarily crumble (the bus is actually free if you want to make smart financial decisions).

3. If you pack your own lunch instead of buying it on campus, you’ve made money

It’s no secret that food on campus is on the pricy side and even if you venture to Byres Road in search of your lunch, it will still be expensive. Even a meal deal is £3.40 these days. So, if you make your lunch at home with things that you already have, then that is money to spend on other things. Therefore, money has been made. 

4. If you go to your 9am and get a Starbucks, it’s free

If you have somehow been blessed by the University Gods to evade the dreaded 9am class, I envy you. However, for those cursed with waking up at what feels like the crack of dawn, you’ll know that the feeling of superiority when you actually muster up the courage to face the world before you’ve even fully woken up is unmatched. And so, as an award for your bravery, a pricey coffee from Starbucks is free. You deserve it!

5. The vending machines in the library are free

Being an academic weapon comes at a cost, and that cost is the insatiable feeling of hunger that absolutely requires a few cheeky trips to the vending machine in the library. This hunger is completely real and definitely not just an excuse to stop looking at your laptop screen in anguish as you realise how much you have to do. And because you’re being SO productive, the vending machine is free. Even if you did just buy 10 Diet Cokes.

6. The 10-minute grace period between the beginning and end of class determines whether you are ridiculously late or really early

Supposedly, classes end five minutes prematurely and begin five minutes later to allow people to get to each class. This sometimes feels like an urban legend as when you walk into a lecture hall for your 11am at 11.04, it feels like everyone else must have teleportation powers and of course – you’re extremely late, sweating from the trek, and fighting demons to find a seat. However, if you by some miracle make it to your 11 a.m. lecture at 10.57 you’re really early. 

These might just sound like excuses, but in actuality, they are completely logical and should be used in all areas of life – especially at uni. How else are you going to justify making bad financial decisions and console yourself as you sweat buckets in a St Andrews Building seminar room?

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