Can hangovers actually be cured? We tried the best hacks recommended by Glasgow students

The NHS website states that “hangover cures are generally a myth”, but whoever decided that clearly hasn’t faced a Friday 9am lecture post Hive-Thursday.

At that point, you’re willing to try anything to possibly prevent a torturous lecture experience. When you are that rough, it may be recommended to just throw in the towel and give the class a miss, but sadly that’s not always possible. So don’t fret, we’ve tried and tested the tamest to most extreme of hangover cures to make sure you can recover from even the worst depths of hangover hell.  

Firstly, there are some things that can be done to prevent hangovers before they even begin… 

Of course, carbs are a must

An essential tip to preventing hangovers before they even begin. Just a bowl of pasta or noodles can mean the difference between feeling slightly icky in the morning and being at death’s door. Lining the walls of your stomach slows down the rate at which alcohol is absorbed into your bloodstream, so not only is this tried and tested, it is also a great excuse to eat something delicious while pre-ing. 

Of course, drink water

Another essential tip is to drink plenty of water. When drinking alcohol, your kidneys send water straight to your bladder instead of retaining it in your body, leading to why you need to go to the bathroom so much (you learn something new everyday!). Due to this, your body loses far more water; think about that banging headache and dry-mouth you wake up to in the morning – very reminiscent of dehydration.  

Simply have some water between each alcoholic drink, or even better drink VBWs (vodka, blackcurrant and water) – a cheap student’s dream!  

However – is it the morning after a night out and you completely forgot your carbs and water? Here are a couple ideas you can try to lessen how awful you feel right now… 

A red ambulance 

A cold can of full fat Coke. This aptly titled “Red Ambulance” will save you by supplying caffeine, sugars, salts and fizz to settle the churn in your stomach. Best served ice cold straight out of the can with a side of TikTok time. 

(Note: A full fat Irn Bru can also be substituted for all the die-hard diet coke fans out there). 

 – Consistent saviour: 5/5 

Spinach and Berocca smoothie

 We know what you’re thinking- and it’s true, it really is vile. But, with pain comes progress. Simply prepare your Berocca of choice and blend with some frozen spinach for this one-way ticket to health and rejuvenation. You could put a banana or other fruit in it if you’d like, but- truthfully- it’s going to taste horrendous either way.

However, the upshot is that this gets you all the vitamins needed to revive you from the corpse-like state we know comes at after one too many pints of fun.  

 – Literally sickening, but does the job: 4/5

Swim in the wild 

Grab your nearest hungover driver friend (under the legal alcohol limit) and get them to drive you out of Glasgow to the nearest loch/lake/pond/body of water for a wild swim. It will be completely awful and freezing – but then you will be rebirthed. Nothing resets the system and refreshes the soul quite like washing your sins from last night away in negative temperature swampy waters out the back of beyond

. If you fear the drive may be the death of you, an ice-cold shower has (almost) the same effect.   

– Rogue and quite a bit of effort: 2.5/5 

A meal deal 

 A classic in the hungover food selection, a meal deal is – over any other benefits – cheap, quick, and easy to come by. My favourite combination was the bacon and ketchup sandwich, a bag of salt and vinegar Squares, and a cold can of coke (see above for why this is the best thing to have ever graced the earth). Elite selections would be anything bacon-orientated, a fizzy can or orange juice, and some ridiculously strong flavoured crisp. The worse it feels to eat it, the better it will do you. 

 – Have to get to the point where food can be stomached (difficult) but after that: 4/5  

Intense five minute run

Sometimes, nothing feels worse than that pounding headache and dizzying nausea. But then you realise- actually, you can feel worse. Dig out your old running shoes before you can think too much about it and run the hangover away. If you’re not dripping in sweat and dry-heaving by the end of it, you didn’t do it right. All those endorphins should (at least temporarily) chase the regret away.  

– does the benefit outweigh the cost?: 2/5

Maryhill/Finnieston McDonald’s 

 Waking up hungover may be one of the worst feelings, but one single sip of a cold McDonald’s Sprite will send a wave of euphoria through your barely living body. Sprite is like nectar from the gods, sent from the heavens above to resurrect souls on the brink of an alcohol-induced death. The food from McDonald’s is good too, if you can keep it down.  

 – Obviously: 5/5

Lock your phone in a box for at least four hours 

The hangover will feel so much worse when you are reminded of the mistakes you made the night before.  

 – It works, but sadly not a long-term solution: 3/5  

Treating yourself  

 Is this an excuse to take yourself out for brunch or perhaps a bagel? Yes. Will it undoubtedly make you feel better? Yes. Treating yourself to a little cosmopolitan café moment is a sure-fire way to increase endorphins, and ultimately cure that hangover. Wear big headphones and take out a laptop to stare at blankly for the ultimate “student in a city” experience.  

 – Entirely depends on the quality of the brunch: 4/5

Hair of the dog

Absolutely every website does not recommend this method. However, is every website written by hungover students? Probably not. It’s your life do with it what you please, though you may only be delaying the inevitable hangover to come.

– Should your liver really be handling another shot the next morning? Definitely not. Does it kind of work? Maybe… 2/5

So, if you’ve tried all of these cures, then you are bound to be sweaty, soaking, phoneless and surrounded by miscellaneous foods. But, if you are still violently hungover you may just not be curable, sorry! Just take it as a character-building experience, grab a cold, damp flannel for your thumping headache, and try again tomorrow.

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