Sorry, but if you do any of these five things then you’re a lazy Exeter Uni student

If you click on this article, that’s enough said

2 months ago

Have you ever had a day of rotting in bed and wondered if you’re the worst, laziest student ever? Don’t worry, we’ve all been there – sometimes, we take a tequila shot a bit too close to a TP finish. But at the end of the day, there are boundaries to this. Habits build without us realising. Yes – it’s okay to be a stereotypical Exeter student, but have you ever considered that you might be using daddy’s money a bit too much? If you find yourself doing any of these on the list below, it might be time to start doing some inner work so that you can become the academic weapon I know you are deep down:

1. Competing in Overheard wars

via Facebook

Like a lot of the things on this list, the occasional unplanned night out leading to a battle on Overheard is very acceptable. Being a uni student, sporadic nights out and fighting for club tickets come as a package deal. However, if your profile pic is frequently finding itself on the Overheard Facebook page, get a PA or something because FIXR is not that much of a difficult app to figure out (although, perhaps it is for EGB). We’re all sick of seeing you scrounge for tickets.

2. Going to Vaults because you HAVE to go out

On the back end of the last point, when you can’t find a ticket off Overheard and you end up in Vaults out of sheer laziness, and just because it’s open later, you’re basically a local. At this point, you’re definitely NOT a uni student.

3. Studying in Amory or the Business building

Some would say this is a smart decision to avoid finding a library seat for 15 minutes, but I see you for what you are. Yes, Forum Hill can be the absolute worst, but if you find yourself never going up it and sticking to the buildings at the bottom of campus, you are 100 per cent a lazy individual.

4. Becoming a Co-op, Saunders, or Premier regular

Oh, the holy trinity of Exeter’s “bossman shops”. They are the perfect pit stops on the way home when you haven’t been food shopping in a couple of weeks. But, if you keep going and it’s been more than a couple of weeks, oh dear. The only reason you should be doing your regular food shops at these places is if you’re in your feral era. This should last no longer than a term (your liver and module convenors will thank me for that one).

5. Living off daddy’s money

Bit of a controversial one, but if you’ve come to university for a bit of independence and to get away from your parents then why aren’t you sticking to it? Go, be free and exercise some of that independence you’ve waited 18+ years for and stop calling your dad up when you’ve maxed your overdraft out on Venoms.

Ultimately, these are all hard truths and exceptions can and should be made so that you can enjoy your Exeter Uni life to the max. However, if you’re doing these things on a daily basis, you’re a certified lazy Exeter student and maybe you should’ve gone to Plymouth instead.