Here’s what each Love Island contestant would be as a Cardiff night club

Summer in the UK means two things: endless nights out with no fear of a 9am lecture, and Love Island. Yes, we’re once again in the midst of everyone’s favourite mind-numbing yet addictive nightly treat that grips the nation for eight weeks. It’s been a dramatic few weeks in the villa, and we’ve certainly got to know the islanders well enough to decide which Cardiff clubs they are.

Kady – The SU

via ITV

An oldie but a goldie: My reaction to Kady coming back to the villa was akin to finding out that the Silent Disco was back at YOLO (screaming, crying, throwing up levels of joy). Kady slayed the game back in 2017, and by the first week or so of her second stint on the island, nothing much has changed. I just know this girlie loves two VKs and a Jungbomb for £7 (don’t we all). She’d steal your man while you were queuing for the VK vending machine and she’d have absolutely no shame.

Whitney – Kings

via ITV

It’s giving sexy, it’s giving slay. If our Whitney gives any vibe, it’s Kings Karaoke. Girlie turns up, downs three jägers for a fiver, and hops up onto the stage to belt out a banger, complete with dance routine. She’s the sweet straight girl in the smoking area, and I know she’d share her Elf bar.

Mitchel – Live Lounge

via ITV

Listen, I just know that Mitch was fuming when Liveys introduced paid entry (as were we all). He uses the five quid credit you get to buy girls Tequila Rose shots, and he has at least two photos with the Pink Floyd sign on his insta, VK in one hand and gun fingers with the other. He’s fine, I was over him after about a week though.

Ella and Tyrique – Revs

via ITV

Ty and Ella are so fit. Like, so fit. I fancy them both an unbelievable amount. And there is something initially quite glossy and sexy about Revs, with its cocktails and copious selection of vodkas. However, I’ve never had a night at Revs that hasn’t ended in arguments and crying in the bathtub, and bless ’em, Ella and Ty can’t seem to get through a night in the villa without a spat of some sort. I wonder if their post-villa tour will include a revival of Tutti-Frutti.

Zachariah – Heidi’s

via ITV

I got so excited about Heidi’s when it first popped up, and the same could be said for Zach. The way me and my mates gripped each other when we saw his sheer sexiness was akin to the excitement we experienced when finding out Heidi’s had the photo booth. He’d hang out there taking pics with fit girls all night, for sure. Honestly, I kind of forget that both Zach and Heidi’s exist, but don’t get me wrong, the things I would do to see that man in the Heidi’s lederhosen.

Jess – Pryzm

via ITV

There was no other option, was there? In truly the nicest way possible, Jess is Pryzm. The gone-but-never-forgotten club would have been where she’d inevitably make an official appearance post-villa, snapping pics with freshers in her own Oh Polly range. She’d love the vibes in Curve, but by the end of the night she’d have been beefing boys and wailing along to High School Musical in Disco like the rest of us. Never change, Jess.

All Islander photos are press shots from ITV

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