We asked freshers for their most rancid halls stories and they did not disappoint

Spoiler: most include piss

Our first year leaves us with a lot of great memories. But it leaves us with even more that make us think never again. We all know that you only need 40 per cent, so what’s the harm in messing around a little?

Now that most of us are back at home or living outside of uni accommodation, we asked Cardiff freshers to share their most rancid experiences during their time in halls. They truly did not disappoint.

Currently wondering what my Taly flat has endured.

Blood and sick and shit

“On our first night of uni a guy came back with a cut open hand, he splattered blood all over the walls and floor, shat himself in the corridor, threw up everywhere, and then passed out in a pool of his own blood, shit, and sick. Was proper grim.” The poor guy had one hell of a first night at uni.

– Senghennydd Court

I’m just as confused as you are

“I was found covered in mud and sick screaming outside my building at 11pm at night.” There’s just so many unanswered questions to this one.

– Cartwright Court

My plates still smell of piss

“My flatmate had all of his mates over and of course the kitchen was trashed. I’d heard some of them chatting in the hallway about peeing in the sink and I froze, most of my dirty plates and cups were in there. Later, I walked into the kitchen to fill my water bottle and could smell the pee on all of my stuff. At least my flatmate bleached it all for us.”

Come on, at least take the dishes out of the sink first.

– Talybont Court

Time to bleach EVERYTHING

I left my piss on the floor over Christmas

“Mate tried peeing out of his window when he was drunk but missed and didn’t realise and went home for Christmas. When he got back with his parents, his mum saw the dried wee.” Hmm, I promise I don’t know how that got there mummy.

– Talybont South

It’s not just me who wets themselves after a night out, right?

“After a night in the SU, I was lost in Cathays so I passed out on the grass outside of the SU by the train station. Two random girls picked me up and helped me back to my friends house in Cathays. I rang the bell about six or seven times, waking the whole house of 10 up, then accused the girls of following me home and my friend slammed the door in their faces. I got inside and found out I had wet myself. My friend then called everyone I knew in Cardiff to try and get me out of her house.”

– Talybont South

Don’t mess with the magpies

“We had to stop opening the kitchen window because a magpie came in like 20 times and we only realised after:
1. It fucked up our rubbish bin
2. I saw it
3. It shat on the table”

If shitting on someone’s table isn’t sabotage, I don’t know what is.

– Talybont North

The mystery of the vomit

“We came in one morning and there was just vomit on the floor. Nobody in our flat was sick or had been drinking.” It’s shocking how many people have had this experience, where are these mystery pukers coming from?

– Talybont North

Hearing your flatmate’s moans is the worst

“My flatmate sounded like she was having a loud mental breakdown and I didn’t realise it wasn’t that until a guy’s voice joined in.” Oh the joys of those thin Taly walls.

– Talybont North

When will it end?

Taly North or sci-fi nightmare?

“My flatmates shower was leaking purple water, fun.” We’ve all had our troubles with maintenance, but Taly North continues to take the biscuit on this one.

– Talybont North

BTS: I got shampoo in my eye

So this is the reason people don’t like uni halls

“Someone in my flat was throwing their ‘human waste’ out the window.” You don’t realise how truly gross students can be until you get to uni.

– Ty Gwyn, University Halls

The tamest story to ever come from Taly South.

“We had a food fight on the last night before we left for corona!” It’s an efficient way to get rid of leftovers before going home but come on South, we know you can do better than that!

– Talybont South

I thought her wet dreams were over

“After a night out, me and my friend came back to my flat. The next day I had to wake up at about 9 AM to catch a plane but I woke up suddenly at around 6 AM thinking ‘I cannot be this sweaty’ – It wasn’t sweat. It was pee. My friend drunkenly wet herself and we were so close in the bed that half of my clothes were covered in pee.”

– Senghennydd Court

Snuggles with unicorns can pretty much guarantee a clean bed

That’s one way to be memorable.

“I got dragged out of Pryzm by the bouncers for being too drunk only to find out in the medical room that I had pissed myself and it was all over the bouncers that had dragged me out.” Whoever said being a bouncer was a fun job definitely lied.

– Talybont South

From pretty tame to absolutely rancid, freshers stories never disappoint and are a friendly reminder of our first year past. Whilst we know there are tons more stories that could make these submissions seem pretty tame, there’s only so much one can take before feeling the urge to scrub everything we own and shower for hours.

Know something? Send tips to [email protected]

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