Ten Halloween costumes we DON’T want to see this year

Please spare us of these and branch out with some more creative costumes

4 hours ago

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BRISTOL

It’s that time of year again, when everyone starts brainstorming their Halloween costumes, and we are surrounded by an army of Mia Wallaces and Tommy Shelbys haunting the triangle.

While these costumes have all had their good run, we have got to say goodbye to these overdone, uncreative, and borderline horrific Halloween costumes. The options are so endless.

Whether you’re going as a trio, or you’re on your own this Halloween, these are ten Halloween costumes we DON’T want to see this year. Happy Halloween!

1. Patrick Bateman (Men)

There is truly nothing worse than a man whose favourite movie is American Psycho. Any excuse to get the suit out I suppose? This one is for the film bros, you are not Patrick Bateman, you are a boy who doesn’t wash his face, with navy bed sheets who can’t keep his hands off a fresher, you’re better off going dressed as a shark.

2. Schoolgirl costume

It should already be clear as to why this Halloween costume should be set on fire immediately. I think we’ve all fallen victim to the sexy Britney Spears or the Avril Lavigne schoolgirl costume at some point, and it definitely had its moment, and that moment has passed. Now you’re much too old to be cracking out your Year six school uniform and putting your hair in pigtails, grow up!

3. Mia Wallace

We are so tired of seeing ketchup-ridden nostrils and forgotten black wigs in corners of house parties. This might be the most done-to-death lazy costume yet. The time has come to let this costume be put to rest, so do us all a favour and put that white button-up shirt away this year. Have you ever even watched Pulp Fiction?

4. Peaky Blinders

PLEASE hang up your flat caps, you have got to accept that the era of the Peaky Blinders has come to a close. It’s even worse when it’s a joint costume, because why am I looking at 30 Tommy Shelby’s on the triangle? Truly a spooky sight. I also have a hard time distinguishing between a Peaky Blinders outfit, an outfit you’d see at the races, and Daddy’s Sunday shooting outfit.

5. Ballerina (or any other vaguely obstructive costume

I love Black Swan as much as the next person, but in terms of practicality, I’d have to say this costume is a no-go. Picture yourself in Larocca, surrounded by sweaty rugby boys and people elbowing you in the ribs to the YMCA. No one wants a tutu sticking out a metre in front of them, it’s just not worth it no matter how lovely it looks.

6. The no costume costume

One thing I hate to see is a low or no-effort Halloween costume. The ones that might actually go through the effort of buying a shirt that says, “This is my Halloween costume,” or they simply say they are going as themselves. These are the kinds of people you want to avoid; you’re telling me you’ve had a good year to think up a decent Halloween costume and this is all you could come up with? It’s embarrassing.

7. Any over-the-top animal costume

I do think if done right an animal costume can be very successful. Scooby, Garfield, and Aristocats are all great options. Something we really don’t want to see is a full-fledged furry cat costume as if there aren’t enough furry conventions roaming the streets of Bristol already.

8. Tate Langdon from American Horror Story

Again, for some reason, this man is worshipped to no end, and if you’ve watched AHS, you’ll know he’s not exactly role model material. There’s always someone who is obsessed with his school shooter skeleton makeup and executes this terribly, which should be enough of a reason to ban this costume altogether. We get it, you’re so cool and edgy and normal people scare you.

9. Prisoner/guard

Overlooking the fact that friendships have been broken due to the prisoner/ guard costume assignment discussions, this is just a boring costume. There isn’t much to say about it, which should be enough proof that everyone is done with seeing the same tired set from Amazon every year. The same goes for angel and devil costumes. Also, bright orange is not a good look on anyone.

10. Hippies

Apart from often being poorly executed and an eyesore, with its tie-dye rainbow peace signs, you would blend in with the rest of the second-year student Stokes Croft population, and the rest of the Bristol population too while we’re at it.