Here’s what your favourite club song says about you as a Bournemouth Uni student

All of Bournemouth’s stereotypes rolled into one juicy list

2 months ago

I had to wrack my brain for song ideas, because normally when they’re playing I’ve had too many rum and cokes to hear them. Even so, I managed to compile a list of songs that I can vaguely remember screaming over the last two years of university, enjoy.

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! – ABBA

If this is your favourite club song, I know you’re living in Cameo. I bet you’re there from 10pm until 3am in your flared trousers with a vodka and Red Bull in hand. Extra stereotype points if you’re an AUB/drama student with a nose ring and 100 rings on.

All jokes aside, no one sings this song louder than a lesbian – something I can personally vouch for, as I have woken up with a croaky voice after many nights in Vinyl. Clearly, all I want is a MAN after midnight, what a horrifying thought.

Hotel Room Service – Pitbull

If you’re bustin’ out the sprinkler or any other dad dances to this tune, you have my heart. If you catch me at Snakebite Sunday shaking what my mumma gave me to this classic banger, no you didn’t. Drunk me aggressively enjoys this song, so if you can resonate with that then I’d say you’re part of the elite BU student stereotype… if I do say so myself.

In Da Club – 50 Cent

This Wicked press tour clip is getting utterly dragged and has become a massive meme

Nathan breaks silence on MAFS UK split and reveals Lacey left him ‘heartbroken’

Omg, one of the MAFS UK couples has ‘secretly reunited’ to ‘give relationship another go’

This song is the epitome of what Toast Tuesday is, and all it is meant to be. If this is your favourite club song, then I won’t be too critical because if it was my birthday – best believe I’m making room for a dance circle and encouraging everyone to point at me every time 50 sings, “Go shawty, it’s your birthday”.

If it isn’t your birthday/or your pals, and you’re getting too hyped over this song, then you may want to lay off the Jagers and sit down babe, it’s going to be a long night.

Single Ladies – Beyoncé

We get it, you’re probably in a society and are half way through drooling over the rugby or lacrosse players. Being the samaritan that I am, I will give you the insider tip to go to Cameo on Wednesdays. You’ll not be single for long, even if you just find a babe for the night.

To ensure you get the cutest Sport BU fella, do something fun like white lie tees. For some reason, drunken uni students gas over that and it’s a banging conversation starter.

Mr Brightside – The Killers

This song came on during my first year freshers, and I still remember the amount of flying blue razz vapes and halter neck straps. If this is your favourite club song, you’re the kind of uni student that is known by the bouncers, goes to clubs at least three times a week and flirts with the DJ.

A top tip for dancing to this banger is boob tape, you’re welcome.

Funky Friday – Dave

Oh, so you’re a Cameo basement kind of student. That’s okay, I’m not judging you – but as an act of service, I have to ask that y’all learn what deodorant is.

Anyway, back on topic. As a BU student, you inhale Red Bulls too frequently and you’ve never seen sunrise over the Talbot campus because you sleep until 2pm. I wouldn’t be shocked if you had to retake a unit or two, because you’ve never stepped foot inside of Fusion, let alone rocked up to an AM lecture.

This is a judgement free zone, because that just summed up my first year. If any future employers are reading this, then I’m lying.

Love Story – Taylor Swift

How’s that arts degree coming babe? We get it, you’re on your knee to your pal who you secretly fancy when Swift sings the iconic proposal cue.

What I’d suggest is, go and get another tequila rose shot because that’s clearly all you can manage and propose to me next time, because I thrive off attention.