The Oscars were amazing, but ITV’s Jonathan Ross coverage was an utter shambles

The Academy Awards this year, I would say with confidence, one of the most anticipated Oscars ever – mostly down to the fact the films up for awards are a proper selection of peak cinema. All eyes were on the biggest night in Hollywood this year for good reason: With the exception of Maestro, the Best Picture category is filled with truly excellent cinema and for maybe the first time ever I decided to commit to staying up and watching the proceedings live. But one thing I did not factor in for such a mammoth commitment was not just that the general battle of fighting off fatigue, but that I’d have to endure one of the most painfully shambolic coverage Oscars pre-shows I’ve ever encountered – with Jonathan Ross.

I’ll be real with you: The announcement of the Oscars ITV coverage being helmed by Jonathan pigging Ross wasn’t exactly one that filled me with excitement from the off. It’s enough of a slog if I ever have the misfortune to catch him buffooning it up should I stumble upon a stray 10 minutes of The Masked Singer. I was, however, willing to put my misgivings aside and give him the benefit of the doubt. I love film and want only the best for Oscars coverage.

A few minutes into the ITV shambles was all you needed to know that we were NOT in safe hands. Obviously, live TV comes with its perils and the risk of hosts having to pad out with content should the American broadcast hit a delay or a hiccup or whatever else could come up. But this was a long slog. Someone spun the randomise guest wheel at ITV, because joining Jonathan Ross we had the most bizarre mix of people imaginable. First up is Richard Armitage, the actor fresh off the hype of Netflix’s Fool Me Once, which he starred in with Michelle Keegan. Next up is presenter Yinka Bokinni, who I’ve never heard of or seen in my entire life.

Bizarrely, we then get Faye Ripley of Cold Feet fame, for some reason. She loved The Zone of Interest a lot. Rounding them out was Ben Bailey Smith, the best of the bunch because he’s an actual film critic with something to bring to the conversation beyond “I liked Oppenheimer.”

If you thought Jimmy Kimmel’s jokes were bad, you haven’t known pain like watching Jonathan Ross try and make a room of five, including him, chuckle. He churned out as lightning speed some of the worst film jokes anyone could muster, and half the time his ragtag group of guests couldn’t be arsed pitying him with a little titter. The silence was deafening.

One of his jokes said Napoleon and Oppenheimer were battling it out to win “Best Hat”. Another said Margot Robbie wasn’t nominated for Best Actress for her Barbie performance because Cindy was on the judging panel. As in the rival doll. It’s a long slog for me this life.

Next year, we need something bloody good. I want Mark Kermode and SpookyAstronauts the YouTuber and I want them now. I can’t do another year of feeling like I’m stuck at work drinks with people I’d rather do anything else than speak to.

@harrisonjbrock

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