first date red flags

If a guy says any of these things on a first date, run and never look back

It’s hell out there

It can be hard to know if a first date is going well. The wine is flowing, the light is dim. You’re making incredible conversation from your end – but are you actually enjoying their company or just the narrative you’ve created in your mind? Who’s to say.

But there are certain phrases where, if they’re ever uttered out of a man’s mouth, you should know your first date has gone spectacularly, irreversibly, wrong. There’s no coming back from these. So, here are the biggest glaring red flags to look out for before you get running for the hills.

*All of these lines have been said to multiple women on multiple occasions, as per The Tab’s own extensive research and horror

You’re not like other girls 

Ooooh how kooky and different and manic pixie dream girl of you. But the thing is, as much as we like to think of ourselves as glaringly unique and special— we actually know, love, and admire a lot of women and would like, very much, to be just like them. So, saying we’re “not like other girls” – and that’s the reason you like us – just makes it sound like you don’t really like women yourself. No, thank you x

‘A girl I met in Infernos told me’

If he’s starting all his anecdotes with a reference to Clapham’s most chaos night club you’re dealing with a level of hook up culture you might not be prepared for. Barely anybody gets out of there without Glandular fever or chlamydia. You’ve been warned.

I’m an ally 

If you have to say it, it’s probably not true.

I struggle to open up to people

Guaranteed, any man who says he “struggles to open up” will then trauma dump on you for a good two hours while you stare into your gin and tonic wondering where it all went wrong. You should have charged him for this therapy session. But, instead, you’ll nod sympathetically and ask more questions about his rocky relationship with his mother.

Wow, you’re actually really funny

Why are you surprised???

I don’t like it when girls… 

Please, we can do absolutely no wrong. And men having icks should be fundamentally not allowed. Generally, this sentence is concluded by one of the three phrases: “take themselves too seriously” (don’t laugh at all their shit jokes), “are too opinionated” (won’t nod and smile without questioning), or “are too clingy” (expect a text back within three to five business days). Either way, you’re fucked.

My ex was completely psycho 

But what did you do to turn her crazy, James?

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