The time has come! A definitive ranking of every 2023 Love Islander from worst to best

I absolutely love that I can say these words with my whole chest: What a great season of Love Island that was? Against all odds, when Love Island fatigue had never been higher, the producers pulled a blinder and gave us a chocka season of characters, drama and icons to root for and invest in. Honestly, it was just a great season of reality TV – and it feels like a massive shame that it feels by far the least watched. The success of this season goes down to the Islanders, and as is now traditional, it brings me enormous pleasure to get every single one of the Love Island 2023 cast ranked from worst to best. Mwah.

32. George

…

31. Montel

This man is a sworn nemesis. Exists purely to be a minion of Tyrique. Don’t know one thing he offered to the villa this year other than distress, nuisance and general eye rolling.

30. Kodie

Atrocious, apocalyptic vibes. Avoid.

29. Charlotte

Not to be too savage, but there’s something even more embarrassing than being a flop Casa Amor Islander about being an early out bombshell who comes into the villa to shake things up and manages to shake a grand total of nothing.

28. Tink

I will not, nor will I ever, support someone who makes me say the word Tink as a name. I won’t do it. I can’t abide it. If you’re asking me to call you Tink, you seal your own fate. And that’s coming from a writer whose name is Harrison Brocklehurst – objectively, a mouthful.

27. Danielle

This year’s annual Islander who no one has ever seen before in their life. Who is this? Wouldn’t know her from Adam. Ghost in the system.

26. Gabby

Another one of the Casa girlies that tried to cause some fireworks, but the fireworks in question just went off like the flop ones your dad got from Tesco on Bonfire Night that just sort of fizz a bit in your back garden whilst you disappointingly look on clutching a sparkler.

25. Benjamin

Sometimes a nice smile will get you a long way. Sometimes a nice smile will get you to number 25 on a ranked list of Islanders from Love Island 2023.

24. Leah

Without a shadow of a doubt, THEE most boring bombshell of all time – and potentially one of the luckiest Islanders literally ever for managing as many days as she did. To add more misery, she was coupled up with Montel of all people. Pure misery.

23. Mehdi

Extremely jarring to think there was a time we had to watch this man try and tell Whitney what to do… lol.

22. André

Oh yeah! Remember André!? Me neither. Catherine mourned his dumping for 30 seconds though, so.

21. Zachary

Look, I have a penchant for smiley Manc lads with hair I want to run my fingers through. And what? I’m only human.

20. Elom

The odds were stacked against Elom from the start because literally not one viewer of this show wanted Catherine to couple up with him. She did, and both of them got dumped from the villa not long after. Seems like a nice enough fella but was instrumental in the saddest blow of the season: The end of Scott and Catherine.

19. Amber

The annual daughter of a celebrity put into the villa for no other reason than to generate more press. Oh, we have fun.

18. Josh

Got nothing nasty or funny to say, really. Seemed like a nice enough bloke x

17. Sammy

One of the smuggest faces I think I’ve actually ever seen on telly. Like a kid hyper after consuming too many E numbers at the Wacky Warehouse but at all hours of the day. The lowest ranked out of the Love Islanders who were big characters on Love Island 2023. In short – go away.

16. Tyrique

In an ideal world, Tyrique would be sitting high in the top 10 ranked Islanders of Love Island 2023. He’s one half of the longest couple of the series, after all. But we don’t live in an ideal world. We live in the world where Tyrique has told women to shut up and got aggy with them on four occasions to my knowledge this season and that doesn’t sit right with me at all. He’s had funny moments swamped out with snakey ones, where he eggs the lads on to do things and they all follow. He never has really had to face any consequences for it, either. Should he and Ella be arguing so furiously the night before the final this early on in the show? Nope.

15. Abi

Poor Abi. Not my favourite Islander by any stretch of the imagination but easily the one I feel the most sorry for this year. She got an absolutely rough ride and everyone was pretty savage to her. When she finally left it was actually a sigh of relief I let out, not because she was annoying but because I genuinely don’t know how many more Ls she could possibly take.

14. Ruchee

JUSTICE FOR RUCHEE.

13. Mal

Right, do you know what… When she was on the show I thought she was really jarring, but in hindsight she was a bit of an icon. She went in there, laughed at literally everything like she was our very own Kamala Harris, did a cringe cat costume heart rate challenge performance and left. Quite comedy.

12. Molly Marsh

I thought Molly Marsh was going to be completely and utterly insufferable, but she’s not. She’s not really anything. She’s just a part of the villa furniture this year, and the annually FULL NAMED Islander. Never Molly, always Molly Marsh. She’s kind of essential but inessential at the same time. She’s like… a vanilla yoghurt. With a dollop of Rachel Berry.

11. Ouzy

Ouzy just seems like a lovely man. A calm soul. I would very much like to spend time in his company, and whilst I never thought he and Ella had legs I’m weirdly invested in the randomness of his romance with Kady. I wish him so well.

10. Ella B

Ella B came in making a bad impression, bursting through the villa doors guns a-blazing with a mission to get Tyrique. It was jarring, and I think Ella T was right in shutting down the Ella V Ella storyline that started brewing. It made Ella B look a bit scary. But when it comes down to it, how can we blame her? She was getting her bag, in a way. If you come in as a late bombshell you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, and I think Ella B made a lasting impression. I have to applaud it.

9. Catherine

Ended badly, but when we were good with Catherine… we were good.

8. Mitchel

Please do not take this top 10 ranking when getting the 2023 Love Island Islanders ranked as an endorsement of Mitchel in that villa – at least not fully. This is one of the most bizarrely behaving men I’ve ever seen on television. A complete wildcard and often insufferable, but you can’t take your eyes off what he’s going to do next. This season would have been completely different without him and not always in a good way – even though everyone would have had a bit more peace.

7. Zachariah

I know most have gone on all season that Zach’s boring, but I have always been quite partial to his empty vessel vibes. Sorry. Fittest Islander to potentially ever walk in that villa and I don’t care who knows it.

6. Kady

A Love Island legend for a reason. Nobody is as honest or as good as gently stirring the pot like Ar Kady, and if the return of Adam Collard last year is ushering in a new tradition of old Islander returning for more good telly then Kady proves why we should welcome it.

5. Lochan

ONE OF THE GOOD ONES.

4. Ella

You know you’re an absolute baddie when there’s another person with your name in the villa who has to put use their surname initial but you don’t. Who’s calling her Ella T beyond Iain Stirling? No one. We’re calling her mother of the house of slay. Ella has been a start to finish icon this season and will be one of the girlies we remember for years to come. Her core friendship with Whitney, Jess and Catherine was the glue that kept the middle of the season so well stuck.

3. Jess

The absolute heart of season 10. A beautiful soul with so much warmth. What I love about Jess is even when people are acting inexplicably and maybe even irredeemably, AKA Mitch, she still has the compassion and empathy to see if they’re okay and check up on him and hear him out. She’s just a real, down to earth girly and she deserves only the best. I’m not sure that best is Sammy, but if she’s smiling, I’m smiling.

2. Scott

A national treasure, in every sense of the term. The people’s literal princess. Never have I seen the avid Tweeters watching along with Love Island rally being a man like they have with Scott. Everyone just wanted him and Catherine to be endgame, and when that went sour the nation came together to show the villa that we loved him. King of one liners. Called a game player by the biggest game players in the villa. Truly beloved.

1. Whitney

If you’ve ever read my writing around Love Island before this article, you’ll know I make no secret of the fact I absolutely love Ekin-Su til the end of time. I love Ekin-Su so much that I found it hard to believe I could ever love another Islander even close to the amount I worship the ground God-Su treads on. Then we met Whitney. Whitney is from another plain of existence, one where she was born to bless our tellies with the greatest reality TV we could ever hope to see. She’s cut from the same cloth as Ekin-Su, and I love her pretty much equally. Two months with her has been a blessing. So many laughs, so much honestly – just a real one doing her thing on telly and bagging the best man in the villa. It’s what she deserves. If she doesn’t win tonight, we riot.

Love Island 2023 is on ITV2 and ITVX. For all the latest Love Island news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

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• Inside Ella B’s Love Island transformation as she shares cosmetic work she’s had done

• From 2015 to now, this is what every Love Island finalist has been up to over the years

Featured image credit via ITV.