Death by sex and snogging Grim Reaper: The darkest things you can do in The Sims

The Sims, overall, is good vibes. Sure they get stressed, but it’s bright and chirpy and we’re all here for a good time! Mostly. It’s well documented that throughout our various childhoods we all, for one reason or another, obsessed over killing off our Sims. I don’t know why we did it – cheap thrills, perhaps. But we did. This got me thinking – what other dark corners existed inside The Sims games? Here’s a rundown of the darkest things you can do in The Sims games.

Makin Magic rollercoaster of death

This one just absolutely kills me. The way we would voluntarily subject Sims to be absolutely tortured for no reason whatsoever is hilarious. This rollercoaster plummets them to hell and back, electrocutes them, has them praying for their lives in fear? God only knows what they endure when they go out of sight.

The ol’ pool and ladder

Classic way to cause Sim murder: We’d make our Sims go for a swim and remove the ladder til they drown. The devs wised up and now Sims can just climb out on the side like the rest of normal humans on this earth. Although that didn’t stop the darkest Sims players from building walls around the pool to make sure they die anyway. Lovely.

Starve your Sims to death

Not as simple as just removing a fridge, you’ve also got to make sure they can’t get to a phone or a computer or a door or they’ll just order themselves a pizza. Very relatable.

Fireplace room

You know the drill: Lock a Sim in a room, fill it with fireplace, watch them burn to a digital crisp.

Shagging to death?

Sims can literally shag themselves to death if they’re old enough and get over-exhausted – a dark death but let’s face it, worse ways to go, isn’t there.

Dance til we die

You can basically make Sims dance all the way to their death so they get extremely happy and then drop dead from over exertion. Hell.

Toilet room

All Sims trauma comes from removing doors and making the Sims endure one thing or another in rooms with no doors. Put them in there with a toilet that’s cheap so it breaks soon and watch as they fill the room with their poo and wee and die of disease or insanity. It’s kinda giving Salo when you think about it.

Evil mods

Don’t want to dabble too much in this because it’s not canonically in the game, but you can find mods that allow your Sims to be a serial killer, have incestuous relationships and even barbecue and eat their babies. EVIL.

Even without mods, you could technically be an in game serial killer…

Just invite Sims around to your house from the neighbourhood, trick them into the basement and delete the door. Enjoy. And there’s no law enforcement in The Sims really, so you’ll be prolific and never get caught. Netflix series about your antics when?

Necking off with the Grim Reaper

Look, if you want to lock lips with actual death then that’s your prerogative, as long as you know it’s DARK! One of the darkest things you can do in Sims games even if it’s done with chirpy colours and a smile! Don’t be fooled, folks!

@harrisonjbrock

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