Help, Britain has officially lost the plot and this unhinged coronation behaviour proves it

As you may or may not have noticed, much of the UK population has lost its God damn mind. There’s bunting and quiche everywhere. No escape. Because, in this unhinged nation, there’s nothing royalists love more than an opportunity to be terrifyingly patriotic. And King Charles’ coronation is no exception.

So, in honour of the Brits being well and truly at it once again, here’s a roundup of the weirdest coronation behaviour so far, which has us seriously considering emigration:

The Tesco pub

Think you’re going to nip into this Tesco in Farringdon for a quick meal deal over the weekend? Well, surprise you can’t because it’s actually a coronation-themed pub called The King in The Castle. Ok!

The sausage finger vapes

Credit: riot eliquid

King Charles may have the fattest fingers in the history of the British monarchy. And now, to make matters worse, his Cumberland hands have been turned into victoria sponge, scotch egg, breakfast tea, coronation chicken, and champagne-flavoured vapes for the coronation. A truly cursed product.

This Art Attack chocolate head

The people at Mars-Wrigley have concocted a life-sized, 23kg, bust of Charles made from over 17 litres of melted chocolate and more than two thousand Celebrations. “The resemblance is uncanny,” the company’s senior brand manager claimed. But, let’s be honest, it’s giving the giant head from Art Attack.

Benjamin’s poem sent via Metro

Credit: Metro

Ahead of the coronation, the Metro started a digital book for their readers to write in and leave a message for Charles. From somewhere across the UK, Benjamin sent in this heartfelt poem and, tbh, it speaks for itself. May your kingdom thrive x

Holmes Chapel’s 7ft knitted Charles

In Harry Styles’ home town of Holmes Chaple, the villagers have knitted a 7ft King Charles statue complete with the crown jewels. It took hundreds of hours and 100 balls of wool. So, let’s hope it isn’t carried off in the thunderstorms scheduled for all weekend long.

Sandra sending her well wishes to ‘Charlie’ via Sky News

Credit: Sky News

Is there anything giving more UK coronation hun energy than this message from Sandra? “I’ll be sat with a glass of vino xxx” Good for you, babes.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Erm, King Charles has invited a Love Island contestant to his big coronation party 

• King Charles, your coronation is the last thing the UK wants or needs right now

• The hottest young royals to look out for this coronation weekend 

Featured image credit via Instagram.