A freshers’ guide to Glasgow men

At first glance, the Glasgow dating scene can seem like a bafflingly diverse ecosystem, and attempting to navigate it can feel like a hopless task. But beneath the surface, things are perhaps more predictable than they seem. While no two people are quite the same, certain characters appear time and time again in the Glasgow dating pool. So, whether you’re planning to dip your toe into the shallow end or cannonball straight into the deep end, consider this your field guide to the men you’re bound to encounter along the way.

The Performative Male

Responsible for keeping the matcha market afloat and tote bags in fashion, the performative male can be identified by his wired earphones (usually not even plugged in; he just wants you to notice he listens to music) and his copy of The Bell Jar, the book he has been reading since Freshers’ Week (he’s still on the first page).

The Finance Bro

Often seen sporting a Zara quarter-zip, the Finance Bro attends roughly a million networking events per week and is usually a proud member of his local Trading Society. With little to no free time (time is money, after all), he is a hard man to pin down and arrange a date with. However, if you can get him on a date, you will have secured a LinkedIn follower for life.

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The Athlete

Constantly in the gym or on their way to the gym, this man turns every conversation into a breakdown of his recent sporting triumphs. Usually found in his local student union every Wednesday, forgetting everything he knows about proper hydration and responsible drinking. Aside from this, if you like gym dates and being in bed by 10pm, then look no further.

The Rugby Lad

Perfectly pressed chinos, an unwavering love of pints and an unhealthy obsession with ‘ruggers’ (that’s rugby to us uninitiated), The Rugby Lad is a real staple of the Glasgow dating pool. He likely attended private school, where he perfected the art of slagging off your accent whilst simultaneously sounding as though he has just come from dinner with the King. Despite this, he’s harmless enough – just don’t ask about his rugby initiation. 

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