Psychologists reveal dark reasons Jamie chose his dad to be his appropriate adult in Adolescence

Adolescence follows 13-year-old Jamie Miller, who is accused of killing a female classmate called Katie. After his arrest, Jamie chose his father Eddie to be his appropriate adult in his police interviews, a choice that has confused some Adolescence viewers.

People are confused because throughout the series, it becomes quite clear Jamie’s mother is the parent who knows him better. For example, during a later phone call, Jamie’s mum asks him if he’s checked the prison know about his allergies. This seemed to be something Eddie was unaware of.

Two psychologists told The Tab there are many reasons why Jamie may have chosen his father to be his appropriate adult in Adolescence. Some of these are quite dark, and mirror the topics the show shines light on.

via Netflix

There are five key reasons behind the choice in Adolescence

Dr. Brooke Keels, a psychologist and Chief Clinical Officer at Light House Recovery Texas, told The Tab there are five key reasons Jamie chose his father, instead of his mother. These are: The need for paternal validation, an avoidance of maternal disappointment, the predictability of paternal reactions, masculine influence and social validation, and burden-shifting through parental dynamics.

“Adolescents like Jamie seek validation from the parent who provides it less frequently,” she explained. “Jamie’s choice reveals his underlying need for approval from his emotionally distant father. Jamie’s decision isn’t logical but psychological which is driven by his need to fill this emotional void.”

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She added Jamie would have felt more like he was letting his mother down. “Facing the parent who knows you deeply after committing a serious transgression becomes emotionally overwhelming. Jamie avoids his mother because her understanding of him would make hiding impossible,” Dr Brooke said.

Lorena Bernal, author of the debut book It Starts With You, agreed. “When a child feels weak, sad, or heartbroken, they might instinctively turn to the parent who gives them permission to be soft,” she told The Tab. “But when they feel they must be strong, when they feel they need to hold it together or prove something, they may look for the parent who embodies that kind of strength. This is not about who’s better. It’s about what energy the child needs in a given moment. And that can shift over time.”

via Netflix

‘Jamie forces his father to witness and engage with the consequences of their failed relationship’

Dr Brooke also reflected on the dark nature of the show, and how this is demonstrated through Jamie’s choice. She told The Tab: “Given Jamie’s exposure to misogynistic online content, his choice could reflect internalised gender-based expectations. Adolescent boys often seek male validation almost aggressively to a fault because it is the biggest influence over their identity formation as growing men.

“The online communities Jamie participated in likely reinforced ideas about masculine behaviour and authority figures and such social conditioning can influence the child to gravitate toward the same-sex parent during moments of crisis or significant decision-making. His choice of father over mother unconsciously aligns with the gender-based validation patterns he’s absorbed.”

Dr Brooke added that Jamie choosing his father is “goosebump-inducing”  and is an “unconscious attempt to make his father acknowledge their fractured relationship while avoiding the more painful emotional reckoning with his mother.”

She added: “Jamie forces his father to witness and engage with the consequences of their failed relationship. Goosebump-inducing, yes, but this choice makes his father confront his parental responsibility rather than continuing his pattern of looking away.”

Lorena also reflected on this relationship between Jamie and his father. “Even if the relationship has been strained, boys often look to their fathers as a kind of blueprint. A reference point,” she explained. “In Jamie’s case, he may have chosen his dad because he’s hoping he will help him through the mess. They want a masculine energy that doesn’t reject, doesn’t shame, and doesn’t crumble.”

Adolescence is on Netflix now. For all the latest Netflix news, drops, quizzes and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook.