From The Office to kids: Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak’s deeply complicated relationship, explained

So, Mindy Kaling rocked up to the unveiling of her new Hollywood Star with BJ Novak (aka Ryan in The Office). He was photographed kissing her on the forehead, and now the internet is speculating wildly about what on earth is going on between them right now. It turns out there’s loads of lore here. Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak did legit have an on-again,off-again situationship while their characters Kelly and Ryan were in a really turbulent romance on The Office. And now BJ is the godfather of her kids? Here’s an extremely detailed deep dive into Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak’s relationship over the years. We examine all the evidence. At length.

Kelly and Ryan’s romance in The Office is satire of Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak’s real-life relationship

The pair met back in 2005 when they were 25. They were both writers and actors on the new American (and far superior) version of The Office.

In 2022, BJ Novak made an eight-minute long speech about Mindy Kaling at the Producers Guild Awards. (really). He spoke a lot about how their romance during the show. He said: “We were in love with each other and we were reckless idiots and the two of us would argue about all of these things forever, grinding the writers’ room to a halt, until we got too upset, and we’d go to our respective offices and slam the door where we could continue arguing over Instant Messenger.”

He continued: “When the producers realised that our relationship as co-writers had humped every conceivable boundary and become a tumultuous romantic toxic boundaryless mess, they pulled us aside and said, ‘Hey, you should have scenes together too. You guys are pretty funny together!'”

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Essential pic of Ryan and Kelly on The Office
(Image via Netflix)

“There was no way out but through. We made it work, or didn’t make it work, through nearly 200 episodes of The Office.”

Ryan and Kelly’s relationship in The Office was a thinly veiled parody of BJ Novak and Mindy Kalig’s real romance.

During The Office, Ryan and Kelly hook up, then she pressured him into making it official with her, then he dumps her, then he convinces her to break up with her boyfriend of a year over text so they can reunite, then he dumps her again. In season seven, they drunkenly get married and divorced in the space of a week, but stay in a relationship. Until they break up in season eight and Kelly starts a long-term relationship with someone else. In the 2013 finale, they run away to live happily ever after (for five minutes, probably).

It was rumored BJ and Mindy broke up and got back together several times while filming the show. We know for certain BJ dumped her once in 2007 – around the time Ryan breaks up for Kelly for the first time.

Neither of them has publicly dated anyone else for ages?

Mindy Kaling was in a relationship with the author Benjamin Nugent from 2008 until 2012. Neither she or BJ Novak are publicly known to have been in any relationships since 2012, which has led people to joke they could be in some kind of 20-year-long friends with benefits situationship.

Ryan after breaking up with Kelly three whole times
(Image via Netflix)

In a 2015 interview with InStyle, Mindy legit said: “I will freely admit: My relationship with BJ Novak is weird as hell. He is not my boyfriend, but he is not my best friend. I guess you could describe our relationship as ‘romantically charged camaraderie with loud argument,’ but I don’t think Facebook would accept this as a new status.”

The pair often go to red carpet events and awards ceremonies together.

BJ Novak is the godfather of Mindy Kaling’s children

Mindy Kaling now has three kids – Katherine Swati, Spencer Avu, and Anne. She’s never publicly revealed who the father of any of her children is. Mindy explained to the New York Times: “My feeling is that, until I speak to my daughter about that, I’m not going to talk to anyone else about it.”

We know BJ Novak is definitely the godfather of Katherine and Spencer. Mindy hasn’t confirmed whether he is also Anne’s godfather. He seems to help look after the kids a lot, because he’s been spotted out and about with them in Los Angeles. Naturally, people constantly speculate about whether BJ is also the biological father of these kids.

Mindy has reiterated several times that BJ is around her children a lot because he’s their godfather.

Mindy told CBS in 2019: “He’s the godfather to my daughter. I see him every week. It isn’t the thing that people sometimes think it is. He’s really part of my family now, which is great. Even though that’s less of a sexy characterization of our relationship, I think it’s a deeper and a closer one. We do spend a lot of time together and it’s a great blessing in my life.”

She did also comment to Maria Claire on all the rumours in 2022. “He’s the godparent to both my kids — and they have such a great relationship — and so far [the speculation hasn’t] affected my happiness at all, it hasn’t affected my kids or BJ. It doesn’t bother me. If that’s what is going to be titillating to people, I’ll take it.”

Mindy Kaling just gave a speech about how much she loves him (?)

BJ Novak was her guest at the unveiling of her Hollywood Star. He heaped praise on her, telling the crowd she is “a brilliant and wildly successful showrunner, an incredible mother of three, a deep and caring daughter and friend and mentor to so many”.

Mindy then she made a speech about how terrific he is. She said: “Fun Fact: My daughter calls BJ uncle FoFo, I have no idea why that is. But he’s such an important and integral part of my family that sometimes I forget that the reason that I know him is that we worked together professionally. And I’m as starstruck by him now, at age 29, as I was when I first met you, at age 24.” (N.B. this is a joke – she and BJ are both 45).

She added, “I love you.”

But, like, platonically.

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Featured image of BJ Novak and Mindy Kaling by John Salangsang/Shutterstock. Featured image of Ryan and Kelly via Netflix.