Ranking all the Severance characters by how despicably evil they are

Severance is a show full of evil characters and ones who you can barely suss out which side of the coin they’re playing for. Sometimes everything you think you know is proved wrong within a matter of minutes, which is kinda the beauty of it. Season two of Severance has thrown everything into chaos and you never know who you can trust anymore – which has resulted in some deliciously evil Lumon antics unlike any we’ve seen yet. With that in mind, here’s a ranking of all the major Severance characters by how evil they actually are.

Note: I’m treating outie Mark and Helly as different characters because we’ve seen a lot of them, but not Irving and Dylan as we don’t know their outies that well!

14. Devon

The character we must protect at all costs is Devon, the least evil of all the Severance characters featured in this ranking. She is the most truly good part of this show – a caring person who wants the best for her brother and is deeply distrusting of Lumon. As she really bloody should be, too. She’s only getting better and more righteous with every episode, too. Thank heaven for Devon.

13. Burt

I’m obsessed with Burt. He soothes me greatly. Too pure for Lumon, and he’s got that endearing older gay I’m dying to have a wine with energy outside the severed floor too. I can only hope to one day receive an invite to a Burt and Fields dinner party where we’d inevitably put the world to rights and watch old clips of Patti LuPone doing Anything Goes on YouTube.

12. Dylan 

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Started off the show as a bit of a Lumon jobsworth who was obsessed with company perks, and is now one of our bravest and most lovable heroes. The way he stands up to Milchick is euphoric. The look on his face when he was doing the overtime contingency? That’s my king, right there. Big heart, even bigger vibes.

11. Helly

So strong willed and full of passion, how can you not love Helly? Although Mark is the main character of Severance, it’s Helly who feels like our eyes and ears. We’ve gone on this journey with her, because when she woke up on the severed floor we were learning it all with her. It gives us a special bond, and all we see her as is our hero because she does the things we’re all screaming at the TV that we hope she does. Legendary.

10. Irving

Whilst I don’t think Irving is evil of course, I’ve had to rank him closer to the top for the sheer lengths he would go  to prove the point he was making. He was right about Helena pretending to be Helly, but to have the capability to physically be drowning someone to get them to listen takes a certain type of gusto. Thank god he’s on the right side of history, that’s all I’m saying.

9. Mark

Whilst Mark isn’t evil, he does things that upset other Severance characters in this ranking that means he has to rank a bit higher than the more benevolent end of this rundown. You can’t blame Mark for pushing people away with what he’s gone through, but his numbness is to the detriment of those that love him sometimes.

8. Mark S

If you’d got me to do this ranking before the most recent episode I would never have had Innie Mark up at eight, but them’s the breaks when you’re being a bit of a dick! Helly said it and I agree. I know he’s gone through a lot with the Helena revelation and he’s now distrusting all he knows. I’m no expert, of course – but something tells me the best way to deal with that isn’t to hardline become a Lumon shill. I get the ick so bad when he goes manager-y.

7. Ricken

How the HELL did this loser manage to make Devon fall for him? How? I truly do not know what trickery he pulled to get someone as great as her. I used to think Ricken was funny and endearing as well as being a pseudo science weirdo – but the fact he’s about to sell his soul for Lumon money is unforgivable in my eyes. I hope Devon divorces the hell out of him.

6. Milchick

Aka, Milkshake. I think in season one I’d have had him right at the top, but no more. The show has started humanising Milchick, and I do think despite the fact he clearly loves Lumon he is softening. He wants the Innies to feel as good as they can in some situations. I also really feel for him with blackface Kier pictures being handed to him as if it’s a nice thing. Despite the fact he’s been one of the main villains, and I fear he’s about to force himself to lock in with Lumon even harder, I do think there are way more evil characters at play in this Severance ranking.

5. Cobel

Truly evil in her sheer devotion for Lumon and everything it stands for. The way she has her claws in Mark’s life in and out of the floor. I’m fascinated by her and also terrified by her. Devotion and obsession can be so terrifying and lethal. And with Lumon rejecting her / lowkey inviting her back I have no clue how unleashed she’s going to get.

4. Natalie

Another character who we can barely crack through the veneer of because of the terrifying Lumon devotion. Nothing scares me more than her smile. I feel like she has the potential to be freed from how evil she comes across, but with that chat with Milchick before his performance review it feels like she’s way too far gone down the cult-y rabbit hole.

3. Miss Huang

We barely know anything about her, but something INSIDIOUS is going on. The way she spoke to Milchick when he was planning the Irving memorial was full of terror. She is evil.

2. Helena

Only not taking the top spot because I do think there’s a fear inside her of higher ups at Lumon that make her feel more human, but my god she is a VILLAIN. What she did to Mark S where she slept with him knowing he thought she was the Innie is so harrowing. The deception she can pull off and how utterly cold she is puts her firmly at the top of the ranking, but there’s someone even Helena seems to fear who’s arrived this season and scares the HELL out of me…

1. Drummond

If even Helena is intimidated by him, we should all be very afraid…

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