If The Traitors contestants were Cambridge students, this is what college they’d be in: Series 3 Edition

With Series 3 of The Traitors coming to end, I’m already taking steps to fill the void (and to ignore my deadlines). This cast has been so iconic, I can’t help but wonder what some of them would be like in the colleges of Cambridge instead of the Traitor’s Turret.

Alex – Girton

Never given any screen time, I barely knew who Alex was for the majority of the series. Kept to a distance just like Girton students.

Alexander – Pembroke

Such a gentleman, Alexander would definitely go to a quintessentially Cambridge college like Pembroke. Plenty of bushes for him to fall into as well.

Anna – Fitzwilliam

Anna just has a Fitz vibe – a bit of an unknown character at first, but once you got to know her she brought such good energy to the show.

Armani – Homerton

A chatty and friendly college, Homerton is the place for bubbly Armani who sometimes had a bit too much to say. She’d enjoy its more chill approach with no stuffy traditions like not walking on the grass.

Charlotte – Trinity

Trinity is the home of evil geniuses and that is exactly what Charlotte is. Her willingness to stab Minah in the back proves that she would thrive in that ruthless environment. Also, I feel like it would be someone at Trinity who is most likely to fake a Welsh accent for literally no reason.

Dan – Churchill

Experimental like Churchill, Dan played the game in a different way to previous players and I respect that. His iconic eye-rolls are sorely missed.

Elen – Selwyn

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Elen is definitely the Sidge girlie of the cast and so she needs to be close by. You can easily picture her in a skinny scarf, with a tote bag and some Welsh literature in tow. The ASNAC course was literally made for her.

Green green grass of home

Fozia – Wolfson

The most mature contestant in the series, Fozia belongs with the adults in Wolfson. Unfazed, astute and selfless, where would the rest of the cast be if she hadn’t got off that train first?

Francesca – King’s

I want to see those snakeskin slingbacks at Bunker.

Freddie – Clare

Freddie would be an avid member of Clare Politics Society and a regular at Cellars. I can imagine him throwing out a couple of cartwheels during ents.

Jake – Magdalene

Since Jake thought there could never be an all-female cast of Traitors, he seems a bit stuck in the past like Magdalene.

Joe – St John’s

So overconfident to the point of annoyance, Joe has something in common with most John’s students.

Kasim – Lucy Cav

Kas was under-appreciated by his fellow teammates just like Lucy Cav. This lovely man did nothing to deserve being left out at dinner and hated on for being a doctor.

Leanne – Robinson

Robinson lowkey looks like a military base so Leanne would feel at home here.

You’re telling me this isn’t a barracks??

Linda – Queens’

All hail my queen. There’s no other option: Linda belongs in her namesake college. Gone but never forgotten x

Lisa – Jesus

I mean, it makes sense. Lisa coming out as an Anglican priest might be one of my favourite moments of the show.

Minah – Medwards

Probably the greatest robbery of all time. Minah was the best Traitor who was truly committed to the sisterhood and deserved the win. She would definitely go to a modern, empowering college like Medwards.

Yin – Christ’s

Yin’s slightly unhinged intellectualism would find a happy home at Christ’s. She gives off Chribrary energy.

I’m heartbroken to see The Traitors end for another year – guess I’ll just have to binge the US series in the meantime…

Featured Image Credit: Traitors Cast via BBC