All the evidence Coleen Rooney’s Wagatha Christie storyline on I’m A Celebrity was staged

I believe the whole Wagatha Christie detective saga on I’m A Celebrity this weekend – when Coleen Rooney was the one to deduce that Maura, Richard and Dean were secretly living it up in the junkyard camp – was totally staged and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Here is an extremely serious, unnecessarily detailed analysis of the situation. Let me present you with all the evidence which supports my theory. Honestly, my detective skills here are better than the real Wagatha Christie’s.

Coleen is the only celeb who was sent down to the junkyard twice

Back again, are we?
(Image via ITV)

Convenient, much? I get why Coleen was the one to take the washing-up to the junkyard camp the first time, because she and GK Barry were the ones on cleaning duty. I don’t get why she was then also the person to bring them food. Surely that duty should fall to the chefs from Delvin’s Diner, Danny and Melvin? It’s almost like the producers wanted her to see something was up…

Coleen Rooney’s detective skills aren’t that special, guys

Look, I get that it was very impressive for her to figure out that the person leaking stories about her to the Sun was… Rebekah Vardy’s account. But her other adventures in the jungle so far haven’t convinced me that her detective skills are all that good on the fly. Perhaps she’s better suited to investigative deep dives than to spontaneous deductions.

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When Dean was not-so-subtly telling half the camp, a dozen cameras and the whole UK that he had contraband teabags, Coleen Rooney didn’t register anything was going on. It’s not like they were being very sneaky about it.

Subtle, Dean, subtle
(Image via ITV)

After the camp’s cupcake-based punishment, everyone finally fessed up to the items they’d snuck in. Coleen Rooney still didn’t quite get what was going on. Tulisa literally said that another campmate passed her seasoning, but she didn’t use it. Coleen got confused and thought that some acquaintance of Tulisa had found a way to sneak through the jungle and smuggle her salt. She asked, “So has someone from the outside…” Then Tulisa cut her off and corrected her.

Coleen was also extremely eager to point out that she thought a trial called “Absolute Carnage” might have a connection to cars. No sh*t, Sherlock.

Are the other celebrities really all so thick they didn’t suspect something was up?

Er, Maura and that vicar dude claimed to have been cooking rice and beans for three days but never lit a fire. Lie harder, people.

Their acting at the Highstreet of Horrors bushtucker trial was also not on point. With feathers and slime but no dirt, bugs or dead animal bits, Maura and Richard couldn’t have looked less like they’d done a trial. Richard claiming they’d had to deal with “weird Australian birds” was just a bit much. Did Danny not smell a rat when he then didn’t encounter any “weird Australian birds” in the trial?

They gave it their best shot, but they didn’t have great props to work with
(Image via ITV)

It just feels a bit too convenient

So, someone extremely famous for playing detective and rumbling sus behavior goes on I’m A Celebrity. ITV pays her £1.5 million, so presumably wants their money’s worth and for her to do something interesting. The producers set up this very dramatic multi-episode scenario in which two people are constantly lying to the others and acting mysteriously. She gets sent to the scene of the crime more than any other campmate. It doesn’t occur to anybody else that something might be up.

Then, lo and behold, our fav detective is the one to solve the mystery! At which point all the other campmates suddenly declared that they too had noticed sus things but were incapable of putting two and two together until Coleen enlightened them. Ant and Dec can make a hundred more “Wagatha Christie” jokes. The tabloids can write a thousand more “I’m A Celeb viewers flabbergasted/delirious/euphoric/in need of medical attention that Wagatha Christie / our queen Coleen / the greatest detective of our age / our second favorite person after Kate Middleton strikes again” stories. Everyone wins.

Nothing, and I mean nothing gets past Coleen #ImACeleb pic.twitter.com/DVVfStY2Ko

— I'm A Celebrity… (@imacelebrity) November 22, 2024

Maybe I’m just a deeply cynical and mistrustful person, but it all feels a bit too convenient to me. Reality isn’t this exciting. Surely ITV has staged this whole Wagatha Christie mystery scenario for Coleen Rooney to solve. Are we sure the producers didn’t plan this whole Junkyard scenario so their high-payed detective could have a mystery to solve? Did the crew keep telling Coleen to go down to the camp in the hope that she’d spot something sus? Did all the campmates start to figure out something was up due to Dean’s terrible lying around the same time, but the show was edited to make it look like Wagatha Christie cracked the case? The plot thickens.

Reddit agrees with me, guys

And obviously Reddit knows everything.

One Reddit user wrote, “I’m calling a little bit of producer bullshit. Why, out of everyone in camp, did they send Coleen twice?”

The production team sent her twice on purpose though” another added, “It’s caused a great deal of friendly rivalry and that’s never a bad thing as far as entertaining TV goes.”

To be fair, I don’t even mind much if the whole Coleen Rooney Wagatha Christie-style sage on I’m A Celebrity was staged. It was terrific TV and there’s nothing else to do in the UK in November.

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Featured images via ITV