Ex-Aberdeen student warns freshers about flatcest: ‘Go with the flow, but be safe’

Bethany Lee, a former psychology and sociology student at the University of Aberdeen, has a simple but pointed message for incoming students: Think twice before diving headfirst into relationships with flatmates.

Bethany, now 27, found herself pregnant just four months into her studies after a whirlwind romance with her flatmate, David Smith. Now, she’s using her experience to offer advice to freshers on balancing fun with caution.

According to Hillingdon Times, Bethany and David, 25, met in their student halls in September 2022. Sparks flew, and within weeks, the two had started dating.

They quickly fell into the typical university routine, spending nearly every moment together. But by January 2023, life took an unexpected turn – Bethany learned she was pregnant. For both Bethany and David, the news didn’t come as a huge shock. They took it in stride, and by September 2023, they welcomed their baby boy, Finneas.

Reflecting on her experience, Bethany notes that she and David were “chilled” about becoming parents, but admits that it led to major life changes. Both dropped out of university and moved back to Bethany’s family home in Devon to manage childcare and finances. David left his zoology course to work full-time in retail, while Bethany took on a part-time job as a dental receptionist. They’ve seen moved to Derbyshire and got engaged in July.

Bethany explains the adjustments weren’t easy: “In the beginning, I felt a bit lonely seeing what my uni friends were up to. You lose touch more than you’d expect.” Despite the challenges, she’s grateful for the quality time she spends with her son and is hopeful for the future, planning to return to university once their lives are more settled.

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Although Finneas is a “happy baby,” Bethany admits there are moments of frustration when comparing herself to other young mothers who have more financial stability. “A lot of the mums I met were able to take their babies on holidays and buy them brand new things,” she says. “I’d like to be able to do that, but I’m not quite there yet.”

Bethany’s message to new students is clear: “Go with the flow, but also try to be safe. Don’t get pregnant at university.” Her advice speaks to the reality that while university is a time for exploration, it’s important to consider the long-term impact of choices made in the moment.

For Bethany and David, the unexpected journey to parenthood has been transformative. They’re optimistic about the future and are focused on building a stable home for their son, with plans to finish their degrees and buy a house before considering expanding their family.

Bethany’s experience highlights both the joys and challenges of young parenthood and offers a thoughtful perspective for students navigating relationships, independence, and the thrill of university life.

Featured image via bethany_gl on TikTok