What all the Russell Group unis should dress up as for Halloween: A very astute analysis

Students across the country are unpacking their emergency Halloween Shein orders and priming their eyelids ready for an ungodly amount of glitter eyeliner. Here is exactly what each Halloween outfit all the Russell Group unis should dress up in for Halloween.

University of Birmingham – Old Joe

I will never understand Birmingham Uni’s obsession with this big clock tower on campus. But I’m sure your fello Birmingham students would find this hilarious.

University of Bristol – pirate

I think it would be the peak of honor for Bristol students and their besties to dress up as a Shein package and a scorpion. Name a more iconic (or terrifying?) duo. I’ll wait.

But that might be a bit of an ambitious outfit. I don’t think even ASOS sells scorpion outfits.

University of Cambridge – an essay deadline

There’s nothing like an essay deadline to make a Cam student wake up in a cold sweat. If you rock up to Mash with “three 2,000 essays due at 4pm Wednesday” written on a t-shirt, the students will probably run out the club screaming.

Cardiff University – silverfish

I have faith that Cardiff students could make silverfish sexy if they want to. What better tribute could there be to Cardiff student accommodation? You just need some antennae, a lot of aluminium foil, and no shame.

Durham University – an Oxbridge rejection letter

Surely, nothing haunts the dreams of Durham students more than Oxbridge rejection emails. Why else would they have settled for Durham and committed to a lifetime of failing to convince their parents that “Doxbridge” is totally a thing?

University of Edinburgh – creepy graveyard dog statue

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Edinburgh uni has strong Halloween vibes all year round. It’s right next to the Greyfriars Kirkyard Cemetry, which is the most haunted graveyard in the country. Yikes. I personally think the statue of Kirkyard Bobby – a dog who died there – would make for a very impressively niche Halloween outfit.

University of Exeter – a horse girl

This is the easiest possible dress-up option for Exetaaaaaaah, because 99 per cent of the student body there is a horse girl. They’ve already got all the gear. And everybody else is mildly terrified of horse girls.

University of Glasgow – a deep-fried Mars bar

Stereotypical Scottish cuisine terrifies the rest of the UK. I reckon deep-fried Mars bars are the same level of scary as vampires and ghosts and werewolves.

Imperial College London – LinkedIn

This uni officially has the best grad prospects out of all the Russell Group unis. I can guarantee that LinkedIn lives rent free in the heads of all Imperial students.

King’s College London – Chappell Roan

Feminonemonal
(Image via YouTube)

“Oh, won’t understand my costume. It’s a reference to a super niche, super underground, quirky indie artist who nobody has never hear of. I’m just such an edgey and out-there individual. She’s called Chàppelle Ro-anne?”

Get your besites to dress up as Charli XCX and Sabrina Carpenter with you, to complete the holy trinity of giving I’m-basic-but-in-denial-about-it vibes.

University of Leeds – cat

The blandest Russell Group uni should get the blandest Halloween outfit. Invest in a pair of cat ears from Amazon when you’re a fresher, and you won’t need to worry about Halloween again for three years.

University of Liverpool – ghost

Liverpool is officially the most haunted Russell Group uni. Dress up as a ghost and you’ll blend right in with all the local residents. You can ditch the sheet as soon as you get to the club and still look like you put the effort in.

London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) – their pyjamas

It is a truth universally acknowledged that all LSE students are miserable finance students who sold their souls to the corporate grind at the age of 16 and are now too busy updating their LinkedIns to go to a Halloween party, or even make enough friends to be invited to a party. Let’s be real, LSE students aren’t wearing a costume this Halloweekend, they’re wearing their pyjamas.

University of Manchester – lingerie and some form of animal ears

The inspo
(Image via Netflix)

This is just objectively the wildest Russell Group uni. Manchester is pretty much the only UK city with any kind of nightlife left. It would be rude to not take advantage of this and go for some kind of

Newcastle University – Blue TREB

Celebrate the local speciality and pay homage to blue TREBS. Newcastle students will be drinking so many this Halloweekend that they might as well dress up as them as well.

University of Nottingham – a lemon and lime Crystal vape 

The spirit of Notts is best embodied by a lemon and lime Crystal vape. You heard it here first. I guess you could reuse all your slime green party clothes from Brat summer?

University of Oxford – an Imperial student

Surely all Oxford students are terrified that Imperial will keep beating them in the uni rankings, and their whole existence will become meaningless. There is no point putting yourself through the suffering of Oxford tutorials is you can’t break about going to the country’s best uni afterwards. Imperial College London haunts their nightmares.

Queen Mary University of London – the District line

Poor Queen Mary students need to rely on the ropey District line to get to lectures. I can’t imagine anything scarier for them to dress up as. Wear dark green, move extremely slowly and have a breakdown at least twice a day. You’ll have nailed it.

Queen’s University Belfast – Game of Thrones characters

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If I went to uni vaguely near where Game of Thrones was filmed, I would be milking that for all it’s worth. Pretty certain it’s socially acceptable to dress up as a vaguely medieval very imbred yet kind of hot princess if you live kind of near where the show was filmed, right?

University of Sheffield – the Arctic Monkeys

The Arctic Monkeys are the only interesting thing to ever come out of Sheffield, so I bet all the Sheffield Uni students would go wild if your friend group rocked up to the club dressed as them.

University of Southampton – rats

The only thing vaguely interesting about Southampton Uni is that there are an unusual amount of rats. These rancid rodents are the nemesis of Southampton students. Apparently some of the drains in the Portswood area of Soton are a bit ropey, which attracts lots of furry fiends.

University College London (UCL)  – schoolgirl 

Pretty much every UCL students lives with their parents and commutes to uni so they don’t have to pay the truly extortionate student accommodation prices in London. I have seen a disturbing amount of students dress up as schoolgirls for Halloween and think it’s cool and original. But if you live at home still, you’ve got your uniform in a cupboard still ready to be recycled!

University of Warwick – the U2 bus

The whole concept of Warwick Uni is terrifying. The University of Warwick isn’t actually in Warwick? Wild. You’ll need the U2 bus to get around Coventry, and it’s frightening how long it takes to show up sometimes.

University of York – Long Boi

York’s only personality trait at this point is that wretched duck. It would be an insult to his memory if York students didn’t dress up as Long Boi this year. I’m sure big orange flippers would be very practical to wear to the club.