Love Island is in crisis! Every single great Islander has been dumped from the villa

The biggest problem with Love Island 2024 is not the fact there’s like, one solid couple. But that is a major issue. The problem with Love Island 2024 is the fact that every good Islander has been dumped from the villa and the show is going down the pan. I feel like an episode can’t go by without me losing someone I was invested in and it’s getting more woeful by the episode. In the space of two weeks, I’ve lost everyone I care about. And yet I’m still meant to be tuning in nightly!

Why Love Island 2024 has a fixation on making sure all my favourite Islanders get dumped remains to be clear. I’m not sure if my blame is set to lie with the audience or with the producers, but it’s becoming an epidemic that we urgently need to address as a nation. We’ve suffered so many losses.

Samantha

We’d been long overdue the next Scouse icon, and here she was. She deserved longer in the villa to find someone who wasn’t Joey Essex. Loved the way she left, all angst and realness. An icon and so memorable considering she was only in the series for like two weeks.

Omar and Tiffany

Nah, I’m sorry a rogue duo to maybe mention but I think they’re essential. Omar had Joey Essex on strings and he barely did a thing, and he seemed like such a sound guy as well. And Tiffany… One of the most fascinating Islanders I’ve ever watched. Hypnotised and terrified at the same time. Get her back in the villa with her important raspberries right now.

Harriett and Ronnie

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Harriett. My sweet, iconic Harriett. Truly a case of not knowing what we had til it was gone. The public are fools for getting rid of such TV gold. Whether she was doing the iconic Harriett walk around the villa or once again rowing with Jess, she was golden. The perfect mix of hypocrite, drama queen and spoilt brat – she’s the kind of character I needed in the villa to obsess over.

And Ronnie, whilst he’s clearly an absolute buffoon, it’s just not been as good since he left. That’s the truth. He caused chaos, his hair got debates going and the way he slept created a nightly game of peeking to see what bizarre position we might see him perched in next. He always kept us guessing.

Harriett and Ronnie going in one night was a blow the peak of great, cinematic reality TV never actually recovered from.

Uma (too raw)

Can barely get through typing about the loss of Uma without welling up. Or willing up, maybe would be more apt. A tragic turn of events lead to the best Islander walking out of the villa and now we just have to suffer on without her there. What is actually even the point, may I ask? An exercise in cruelty. She should have won the whole bloody thing. It was the final straw.

I don’t know why we’re even plodding on with this dismal series when we’ve endured villa casualty after villa casualty. Football is meant to be coming home, but the only thing I’m actually seeing back in Blighty is every Love Islander I was fond of sat in Heathrow with a slightly differed love life and a tan. It’s not on.

I don’t care about the rules. Just get them on the next flight back to the villa. TV can