Explained: The ‘let them theory’ TikTokers are claiming is changing their lives and mindsets

Right now, there’s a life theory going around which people are saying has changed their life and outlook on things – it’s called the “let them” theory.

It’s probably all over your For You page on TikTok, as people adopt the “let them” lifestyle and theory into their lives for 2024. So, what actually is it? How do you practice it? And, for real, is it going to change your life like everyone claims?

https://www.tiktok.com/@issy.fbb/video/7329106813754920224

What is the ‘let them’ theory?

The let them theory has been backed as a “life changing mindset” that can help you to accept things going on in your life. US podcast host Mel Robbins first spoke about the theory, and said as soon as she spoke about it received 15million views and 11k comments on her post.

“When you ‘Let Them’ do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life,” she explained.

In short, the “let them” theory is exactly that – when people behave in any way around you, you just let them. If your friends have stopped inviting you to things? Let them. If someone has made comments about you? Let them. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations,” Mel added.

The mindset can be easily adapted to relationships, friendships and your daily routine. It focuses on not trying to force change or control things that you can’t. Instead let things exist as they are around you, and don’t overthinking other people’s decisions. Let other people do what they do, and you choose what you do in return.

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Mel said in a post explaining the theory: “Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Just LET THEM show you who they truly are. And then YOU get to choose what you do next.”

If someone tries to hurt your feelings, instead of getting defensive and trying to change yourself or them – just let them! Their actions don’t mean anything to you!

@hollyb_fitness

The mindset theory that will genuinelly help you feel so much peace ☁️ @Mel Robbins 🫶🏻 #letthemtheory #mindsettips #healingjourney

♬ original sound – HOLLY BROOKS

The theory has now made it’s way to TikTok – of course – and people are saying it’s life changing. The trend has tens of millions of views.

“Sounds like peace to me,” one person said, adding they’ve implemented the theory into their every day life. “The mindset theory that will genuinely help you feel so much peace,” another said. “It blew my mind but it’s also one of the most simple things.”

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Featured image background (before edits) via Unsplash.