Things girls weren’t allowed to do in 2017, according to men on the internet

Women can't do anything without being criticised and 2017 was no different.

You own a glittery phone case? You're an active Snapchat user? You like pumpkin spiced flavoured products? Shut your legs, hoe.

I mean I get it, those "he is my everything?" boyfriend posts make me vom a little bit in my mouth too. But there is no need to threaten to gut some seventeen year-old from Southampton just because she took a picture of her avocado and salmon brunch with 23 different hashtags.

Just let the basic bitches breathe man. You can take gym selfies on the stepper machine and use ? emojis and still be a good person.

But what else did people get really, really mad at women for doing this year? Here is the comprehensive list.

Using the boomerang feature on Instagram

And girls are simply not allowed to use snapchat filters at all

You are a terrible person if you tag photos, "drinks with this one"

These tweets might not be gendered, but lets be honest, 80 percent of the people saying this are female.

Saying "boy did good ?" is also off limits

Your just pissed because you GF never says you did good.

Pose with balloons on your birthday

No honestly this makes you a hoe, even if you have been doing this since you were 12 years old.

Enjoy Drake's music? You're a slag then

Alright Adam, like you don't go mad when "Started from the Bottom" drops in the club

Wearing leggings makes you a THOT

Chokers are also not acceptable

Better not wear chokers gals, you don't want to put Devin off!!!!

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I mean, some guys like really hate chokers

Watch these guys turn up at Urban Outfitters with a bloodied axe.

And of course girls are not aloud to drink pumpkin spiced lattes/unicorn lattes/basically any frothy beverages from high street chains

New one: Don't buy a marble phone case

Girls with ambition? Absolutely not

You should probably bin your self-confidence too

Like astrology? Read your horoscope? Get fucked

If you go to the gym to improve your body but like, you're quite chill about it. To gain respect, you must try harder

Maybe she doesn't wanna run 5k, maybe she just wants a luxe thigh gap???

Sorry Chas, but this just sounds plain enterprising to me.

Don't heat lasagne ready meals in the microwave – what if it splats everywhere and you turn into a big fat hoe

Olive green coats are also bad

You're okay if the bomber is in forest green or mint.

Seriously, like don't suffer from a mental illness, it's really basic guys

Women need to just stop doing stuff. Like remove yourself from social media, only eat plain beige food, don't use popular phrases like "yaaas kweeen", bin any clothes that make you feel comfy, in fact just wear black long sleeved tops and skinny jeans at all times. Continue shaving off parts of your identity until you become a featureless nub, then maybe, just maybe, you will become an acceptable member of society.

Oh and stop breathing.