Warwick’s Maddest Fresher nominee: Brandon Smith-Jones
He’s known as “the guy who watches chicken porn”
Brandon Smith-Jones, the Engineering fresher from Rootes with a fetish for watching chicken porn…
Not quite, but he did announce to his flat that he saw a chicken getting fucked on Facebook. So he is now more commonly known as 'the guy who watches chicken porn'.
Is this what a legend looks like?
But this isn't the main reason for his nominee. Brandon embarked on a two hour walk back from Kasbah, (it's in Cov for those that didn't know) to campus.
He would have walked all the way back if it weren't for a milkman offering him a lift on his float. He spent the final part of the journey sharing a pint at 4am, before attending a lecture at 10am.
The tale does not stop there however. The lecture turned out to be the wrong one – taking Brandon just 25 minutes to work out. Too embarrassed to leave, he faked a phone call.
A well earned nap after a 2 hour trek
Brandon told The Tab that it was an honour to be nominated.
He said: "I want to thank my mum and my dead cat. I think I should be voted maddest fresher cos I didn't spend the last 3 weeks snorting salt, squirting lemon in my eye, walking for 2 1/2 hours home and get wasted (and more) for no reason. Did it to be the dumbass, stupid enough to do it."
Voting for Warwick's Maddest Fresher 2017 will open soon.
Latest
Love Island’s Luca has been flashing the life of a millionaire but his business is actually flopping
He bought Grace a Chanel bag for her birthday
Livestreamer’s family plead for help after saying she was kidnapped for ransom in Thailand
They’ve allegedly raised the ransom
The Glee stars who want to return, as Ryan Murphy confirms the reboot script is done
10 original cast members are ‘enthusiastic’ about coming back
Alfie Deyes just confirmed he and Zoe Sugg will be returning to YouTube at some point
They’re not gone forever!
University of Bath addresses claims of rugby club’s ‘disturbing and unacceptable behaviour’
Students have raised concerns about ‘spiking risks’
Meta is releasing a new AI charm device for your keys and it looks just like a Tamagotchi
You can customise your character
American Horror Story season 13 still feels ages away as people complain it’s ‘nowhere to be seen’
It’s out different at times across the world
The Lizzie Borden Story cast next to the real people show how accurate Netflix’s Monster is
At least it got one thing right
Aileen Wuornos had a husband and a child in further backstory Netflix’s Monster didn’t mention
Her husband was 49 years her senior
Emma Borden’s confused argument with a lawyer at Lizzie’s trial was very different in real life
She suddenly forgot what she’d earlier said
Footage of real Aileen Wuornos next to Monster on Netflix shows just how accurate scenes were
Monster gets a lot wrong, but Sarah Paulson gets everything right
Lizzie Borden’s sister gave a single interview 20 years later, saying the house was ‘unbearable’
‘As for her being guilty, I say no, and decidedly, no’
Aileen Wuornos’ tragic childhood explained, from her absent parents to life on the streets
Her past is explored in Monster
The healing power of housemates in eating disorder recovery
Friendships at university have more healing powers than initially perceived
40 years later, one of the Unsolved Mysteries cold cases has just been solved
Police thought they’d never have answers
Hudson Williams’ girlfriend condemns people going to her workplace and crossing ‘huge’ boundary
‘I didn’t ever want to have to say anything about this’
Family not informed of missing Lancaster student because ‘it was a weekend’, inquest told
The dad of Henry Shields called it ‘shocking’ the family was not contacted despite his son missing ‘three exams’
Calling all students and incoming freshers: Apply now for The Cambridge Tab’s editorial team
Applications close at 11.59pm on Monday 12th October
The real history behind Lizzie Borden’s pet doves, as shown in Netflix’s Monster
The storyline is loosely based on fact