‘A wretched Hive of scum and villainy’: The best of Edinburgh on Trip Advisor

‘The place to visit if you’re keen on associating yourself with douche-bags’

You can find out a lot about the city you live in by reading up on the local attractions, restaurants and clubs on Trip Advisor.

Apparently it would be wise for Pizza Paradise to rebrand themselves as Pizza Hell. Or Pizza Purgatory, at least.

Below are some of the best finds from a site designed for miserable, complaining pricks.

The Meadows

Meadows

Everyone’s favourite park for tanning on the one day of the year when it’s sunny enough was not such a hit with this reviewer. Don’t you hate it when there are just too many sweaties and tightropes in your local park? NIGHTMARE.

TIGHTROPES? BONGOS? SWEATIES?

TIGHTROPES? BONGOS? SWEATIES?

Pizza Paradise

Screen Shot 2015-05-01 at 11.27.44

Rumour has it that they cook the pizzas on the firey floors of hell.

She's going to hell and bringing PIzza Paradise with her.

She’s going to hell and bringing PIzza Paradise with her

BRING IT UP WITH THE OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY, WHY DON'T YOU?

BRING IT UP WITH THE OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY, WHY DON’T YOU

Arthur’s Seat

Edinburgh_Arthur_Seat_dsc06165

Where’s the roller-coaster? More importantly, where is the bloody seat?

Sit down m8

Sit down m8

No seats. No roller-coasters. What even is this place?

No seats. No roller-coasters. What even is this place?

Opal Lounge

opalpic

“Bourgeois and Soulless.”

A 1/5 rating. This reviewer hasn’t given Opal Lounge top Marx.

Those capitalist pigs!

Those capitalist pigs

National Museum of Scotland

2561565_7a4c569d

If they glorified Maggie Thatcher, the museum would probably be more of a hit. If only with the rahs in Pollock.

I bet they're from Pollock.

I bet they’re from Pollock

And as for this reviewer… unlucky.

Bad luck bud!

Now that’s just poor planning

Hive

HIve

Hive is a bit like Marmite. It’s a bit sticky and doesn’t smell very nice. These reviewers agree. One of them is even suing.

Picture-12

A cig-nificant human rights case.

A cig-nificant human rights case.

But it’s not all bad.

Banter with all the ladz.

Banter with all the ladz.

It’s a miracle these places are still open.

Plus we all love them really.