We went to Haunt and asked people their cringiest sex stories
It involves your mum
If you thought your life was cringe, spare a thought for these people.
We went to Haunt for Fat Poppadaddy’s and asked people their funniest sex stories.
Some are brilliant but others are so unfortunate they make Ebola victims seem lucky.
The lair of secrets
‘I was having sex with my boyfriend and I screamed my best friends name’
Bit awkward that she was fantasising over her friend.
‘My mum walked in on us halfway through’
The age old classic that’s happened to everyone and if it hasn’t happened to you, you’re probably a virgin.
‘I broke my desk whilst having sex on top of it and the girl in the next room heard’
Clearly trying out Kama Sutra moves out isn’t a good idea for everyone, please avoid doing this at home.
‘I was riding my boyfriend and I had a nose bleed all over his face’
I’m sure he preferred blood from her nose and not somewhere else.
‘We left the heating on in the morning I woke up stinking of BO, he was not impressed’
Clearly natural pheromones do not work the way they are supposed too.
‘In Croatia a boy invited me back to his hostel, turns out he had two bunk beds and was sharing with his three younger brothers. We had sex anyway and it was so awful he apologised afterwards’
Some people would probably run away when they realised three young boys were in the room but this apparently isn’t an issue for everyone.
‘I accidentally pissed in my pants’ ‘So you didn’t actually have sex?’ ‘No’
I don’t think he quite grasped the concept of a golden shower.
‘Me and my ex were having sex in a ski lift and were caught by an old man’
Because having sex in a glass ski lift is so inconspicuous, getting caught was not a foreseeable outcome.
‘On holiday me and a random guy ran into the forest, found an abandoned caravan and had sex in there. Afterwards I ran away and fell into a lake of leeches’
An impulsive night filled with far too much sucking action obviously.
‘I was having sex with a girl who didn’t tell me she was on her period, I only found out when I realised my bedsheets were stained with blood’
When your bed looks like a scene from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre its safe to say it was not a successful night.
‘I bought back a boy from a nightclub. He stayed over and I woke up at 5am to the sound of him pissing in my sink’
Every girls’ dream: a man that will sleep with her and then pee in the sink next to her head. What a Casanova.
There you have it, some of Brighton’s most scandalous sex stories exposed. Do you have a better one? Let us know.
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