The definitive rules of the McClay library

It’s coming up to exam season which means most students will be setting up camp in the McClay library, living off endless Boojums or the “Hope” café (more like last hope) and taking it in turns to nap in the CS Lewis reading room or under the nearest desk.

However, remember that whilst living in the library there are some unspoken rules you must abide to:

Never make eye contact with people

Especially people sitting at computer desks near you. This just makes things awkward, especially if you’re going to be stuck in the same confined space as this person for the next few hours.

Don’t eat loud or smelly food

Tayto Cheese and Onion crisps may be your favourite food, but in a warm packed library you’re nothing but a distraction and therefore an enemy to anyone stressed out about exams. Beware.

You can’t open bottles of Coke, Fanta or Sprite, like a normal person

You have two options: either all at once to get the noise over and done with or reaaalllly slowly to show you’re trying to be considerate to those ‘concentrating on work’ in the library.

Wear casual clothes

Show you’re going for comfort, and aren’t too serious about studying. Or using the library to pull (we’ve all seen this happening).

Library casual chic

Turn your phone on silent

There’s nothing more embarrassing than when your ‘Bump and Grind- R Kelly’ ringtone plays in the quiet library room.

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If the book you’re taking out is on the bottom shelf, try to casually bend over

Don’t sit on the floor looking for the book like a five year old in nursery, you’re just blocking the aisles (and you look weird).

Enjoy slotting the books into the conveyor belt of the book returns machine

It’s the most fun you’ll have in a while.

If you see any weird behaviour in the library it MUST be reported to Facebook or Spotted at QUB

Some of the stuff that happens in McClay is just too weird not to share.

Look at your computer with a serious face

You are a mature, well-educated individual. You are here with the intentions of serious business. You’re totally not thinking about what you’re going to have for dinner, who’s online on Facebook and who the hell that munter was that you kissed last night in Box.

Don’t talk loudly to your mates in the middle of the ‘whisper zone’

In fact, don’t even ‘whisper’ you’re still too loud for those of us with short attention spans and we don’t care about how late your essay is, we’re all in the same boat mate.