Trump won the election, Beyonce lost at the Grammys, so of course Corrine will win The Bachelor

What won’t this year take from us? We thought the nightmare ended in 2016 but we were so painfully, horribly, grotesquely wrong. I have proof, incontrovertible evidence, that Corrine will win The Bachelor based on the current state of affairs in Trump’s America.

First, precedent was set. We watched helplessly as Donald Trump, an unqualified, rich, obnoxious white person won the presidency. We bore witness to the slew of unqualified, rich people who ascended to his cabinet in the weeks and months that followed. We looked on in horror as Beyonce was robbed yet again at the Grammys. And it was at that moment that I knew for certain: of course Corrine will win.

Don’t you see nothing matters anymore? That the crude, obnoxious rich person with a nanny at age fucking 24 will always come out on top? Corrine, with her clip-in extensions and family ‘fortune’ will cinch this season of the Bachelor, proving once and for all that love and truth and justice are figments of our imagination, allowing us to believe there’s something more in this life than a never-ending march to death that commences the instant we draw our first breath.

But Nick’s trash too, though, so I guess it’s ok.