How to get hammered in a lecture: Introducing the Lecture Drinking Game

Why not learn and get pissed? Here’s a little game based on the annoying things your lecturer (and the audience) say and do at your 9am.

It’s most suitably played in a 9am when the effect of your bevs the night before haven’t quite worn off yet, but can alternatively be played in a late afternoon lecture (4pm onwards) as a nice, early pre.

The rules are as follows:

Part one – The Lecturer

• Talks about a “very famous” person that no one has fucking heard of – 2 fingers.

• Tells a shit joke that no one laughs at – 2 fingers (this could get you very drunk).

• Reads out a slide word for word – 2 fingers (as could this).

• Moves the slideshow forward before you’ve written everything down – 1 finger (because this always fucking happens).

• Asks a question to the whole audience – Similar to the “waterfall” rule of the prestigious “Ring of Fire”, participants must drink throughout the awkward silence that follows this question until someone in the audience answers it (you could literally be drinking for 10 minutes). Participants are not allowed to answer the question themselves, with a penalty of downing their beverage.

• Runs over time – a shot for each minute

• Swears – 3 fingers. (cause swears are funny lol)

• Slips in to a shit anecdote about their youth – a shot for every painful minute this goes on for.

Part two – Lecture Audience

• Every 5 coughs – 2 fingers

• Late people – 2 fingers for each person arriving once the lecture is five minutes in. If a participant is late, they must down a drink before commencing the game.

• A phone receives a notification – 2 fingers, unless it is your own mobile device, which constitutes to 4 fingers. Participants are allowed to text each other in order to catch other game players out with this rule. Stay on silent, or shit gets violent.

• Someone gets an answer wrong in front of the whole crowd – A choice can be made here. Either participants can shout abuse at the moron, or can consume 3 fingers of their beverage. If you’re drunk, you’ll probably do both.

• Member of the lecture theatre that you’re secretly in love with (no one cares if you have a boy/girlfriend, everyone has one) – if you find yourself leering at them, 2 fingers. If they look at you by some sort of miracle and you make awkward eye contact, down it.

• Some dickhead procrastinating on an Apple Mac in front of you – 2 fingers for each one you see.

This concludes the drinking game rules. If it is followed closely, you should be on the floor by halfway through the lecture.

A quick disclaimer: this list was compiled by arts students and not medical, sciencey people, simply because we are more of a laugh that you lot. So, if some rules don’t apply to your lectures, comment below with your suggestions. Let the bevestation commence!