Londoners Last Longer: Our Naughty Habits Revealed

Adult site has released its worldwide usage statistics, revealing much about our changing sexual habits.

jam roly-poly porn

The X-rated page’s findings present figures such as time spent on the site and most searched terms.

And if stamina means success, we Londoners can afford ourselves a pat on the back due to our 9:57 average minutes per visit, over a minute longer than the world average. Well done us.

Keyboard and hands

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There’s certainly no shortage of London-based visitors either, as the website received no less than 23.5 million views from the capital in 2013 alone.

grandma article

Yet another hit for

The results also show that we channel our patriotism through masturbation, with our top search being ‘British’, presumably before cleaning up the mess with a union jack handkerchief then eating a jam roly-poly. God Save the Queen!


Lisa Ann <3

London’s top three searches is completed with ‘lesbian’ in 3rd, and American pornographic actress Lisa Ann in 2nd, with whom Britain appears to be infatuated, finishing top of Scotland’s, Northern Ireland’s and Wales’ most searched subject.

We’ve never seen this woman in our life.

With the weekend having come (pun intended) and gone, Monday is the world’s favourite day for indulging oneself. January wins the most popular month award, meaning people turning to porn to keep warm.

The UK’s undisputed porn champion, however, is Ware in Hertfordshire, which may go some way to explain the town’s unusually high ratio of students who go to King’s.