Here’s what Exeter Uni halls the Love Actually characters would be in

I will never emotionally recover from THAT Emma Thompson scene…

4 months ago | UPDATED 4 months ago

It is the season of Love Actually once more! After an unsurprisingly hectic first term at Exeter, nothing sounds better than drinking from a mug of hot chocolate, cocooned in a blanket and watching the best Christmas film ever (don’t argue with me): Love Actually. The film has some stand out characters that just can’t help but make you wonder… What Exeter Uni accommodation would each Love Actually character go to?

Billy Mack: Old Lafrowda

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Billy Mack is up for a good time, not a long time. He is old and a sucker for some attention. This seems an apt description of Old Laf too. They would jump at the chance to talk your ear off with their overused story about that one “mad sesh” they had. Perhaps in the good ol’ days, our chap Billy was the life and soul of the party, but like Old Laf, he has had his time.

Don’t feel bad for Billy, though. Despite being past his prime, Billy can snuggle up in his accom with his endearing manager, Joe, and listen to his old hits — or at least try to listen over the pounding beat of DnB through the walls of next door’s pres. You lot at Old Laf really don’t ever stop, do you? Which tells me Old Laf would love Billy’s motto about getting “something” for free when you’re a popstar…

Natalie: Clydesdale Rise

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She’s just adorable and lovely, isn’t she? Yes, Clydesdale accom is a bit shabby around the edges, but it has a sort of raffish charm to it, abound with kind, funny and quirky people. And so, it seems fitting for the girl who stole the Prime Minister’s heart.

Prime Minister: Holland Hall

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If I had a dime for every time I have seen a posh Holland Hall boy remake Hugh Grant’s dance from Love Actually, I would have two dimes, which is not a lot, but shameful that it has happened more than once. Another painfully obvious one. The Prime Minister, played by the poster boy for private school boys, Hugh Grant, would have lived in Holland Hall. No questions asked.

Equipped with a suitcase brim-full of Ralph Lauren shirts and brandished with his signet ring, there is no doubt Love Actually’s heartthrob Prime Minister could face the swarm of Tom’s Trunks and Urban Outfitter’s skinny scarves over at Holland Hall. The Prime Minister would have plenty to discuss with his fellow Holland Hall boys studying PPE. They could even reminisce over their halcyon days at boarding school, or their spiritual odyssey which was backpacking over Cambodia during their “gap yah”. Hugh Grant’s Prime Minister would be given some great stories to share with his political buddies once he got to Number 10 if he went to Exeter’s Holland Hall, no doubt a few anecdotes here and there about rugby initiation.

Colin ‘God of Sex’ Frissel: Duryard

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A massive trek across the world just to meet girls and have a good time. That’s just the journey Duryard folks have to make to get to the club. Colin is no stranger to making big trips all for the sake of some fun. That is why Frissel would fit right in at Duryard; the trips to Fever would be a walk in the park for him.

Jamie: Mardon Hall

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He’s sweet, clever, a bit posh and awkward. Mardon Hall takes the cake. It is a small, quiet accommodation that is catered, which is fitting for Jamie who apparently can’t even make a coffee without the help of his Portuguese housekeeper, Aurelia. He would fit in with the other incompetent catered accom boys who can’t do their laundry or make toast without calling their Mummy.

Judy and John: St German’s and Rowe House

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Judy and John are shy, awkward characters who have some very touching moments in Love Actually (no pun intended). I think they would live in St German’s or Rowe House quite comfortably and fit with the quiet atmosphere there. They would definitely be that obnoxious uni couple that would get with each other at pres whilst everyone has to awkwardly ignore. Don’t be fooled because, like Judy and John, people at St German’s and Rowe House are dark horses: One moment they’re giving you their notes they made in the lecture, the next they are paralytic drunk and doing what Judy and John do for a living in the TP toilets.

Harry: Birks Grange

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What this man did to our beloved Karen, played by Emma Thompson, is simply unacceptable. His punishment? Cardiac Hill. Walking up Cardiac Hill for his 9am lecture is sure to get his heartbeat soaring, though it won’t mend our hearts for what he did. But, on the bright side, as further punishment, he would never find another girl to cheat on his wife with, as no one looks good struggling for breath after tackling the mountain that is Cardiac Hill. The cheating Harry would fit right in with the crowd of boys at Birks Grange. I know he would be the type of man to commit flatcest and make it awkward for everyone else in the flat – a quintennial Birks boy xoxo

Karen: Whatever accommodation she wants xx

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No. Sorry, I am still not over it. The heartbreaking scene when Karen is sobbing while listening to Joni Mitchel, after discovering her husband is cheating on her. That is my Roman Empire. She can have whatever uni halls she wants, whatever makes her happy. Preferably, with no man within a 10 mile radius that will hurt her – this will be a tough challenge to find.

Mia: New Lafrowda

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New Lafrowda’s merciful determination to go to every TP Wednesday (every, single, one) matches Mia’s utter shameless to get with her boss, Harry, and break the heart of our girl, Karen. I still can’t talk about it – it hurts too much. Mia would feel at home with the party girl aesthetic of New Laf, the mecca of girls that when you say “this is my boyfriend”, they hear “this is your challenge”. Mia would most definitely fancy her lecturer, and give uni a good run for their money with another staff-student relationship scandal…

Juliet: East Park

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Finally, to end this list with another self-explanatory one. Juliet, without a shadow of a doubt, would be living at East Park. If she could, she would be moving herself and her 1,000 pairs of low-rise cargos and skinny scarves into her room as we speak. Juliet fits the Exeter, “daddy’s money” cool girl trope. Her wardrobe looks like she was dipped in glue and ran through an Urban Outfitter’s shop; she’s an East Park girly through and through. I can already envisage her queuing for some salmon and avocado on rye bread at Pret. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that posh girls actually are all around.