Tales of my Greedy Punt – Week 5
MAISY MINT enjoys porn and self-objectification. And she doesn’t care who knows it.
Watching you, watching me. Aha.
I like to be watched. I think a lot of girls like to be watched. Of course this is a highly politicised subject – the female gaze and all that. The desire to be watched must derive from enjoying watching. Enjoying watching girls in porn.
The point-of-view filming, watching her bounce on him, touch herself, climax in the most ridiculous fashion. It’s fucking hot. It’s a quick and easy fix to make yourself fucking wet. It’s the empty calories of masturbating. It’s fast food, fast arousal, fast climaxing. Watching – it is such fun.
And the idea of being watched. Yum. Doing that to someone else. Watching them, watch you. Oh Boy. Gee wiz. Zipperdy doooo dahhhhhh. ZING.
My editor and I have an agreement – that the next time either of us take home a new lover we must try and undress, without kissing, or touching, and watch each other masturbate. Only watch. Have a one-night stand with no sex involved. A real-life porn experience. All in an effort to get to some real good slow-burning carbs. The porridge of porn. The whole-food of masturbating. Guilt-free chowing down on a big ol’ meal of self-pleasuring. Yum.
Of course I’ve always been too ravenous to abstain. I’m Greedy, remember? So this fantasy must stay as such.
So, how am I going to sate my thirst for watching? I read about an ethical porn website which pays you for sending in high-quality videos of your face (no nudity allowed) as you masturbate. Honk honk. So I tried it out. Not high-quality. Not with these pores. So in an essay hole I set up my laptop facing my bed. And filmed myself. Doing what I do. Sat up on my knees, spat onto my fingers, and gave it a go.
I don’t know what I thought I would feel watching me back. It certainly was not arousal, nor was it disgust. I suppose the reaction was, ‘Oop, there’s me masturbating…that’s an odd noise…hmm interesting facial spasm…’.
This had happened before – me and my ex filmed ourselves. Watching that back was dry as hell. Two naked rabbits bonking quite frankly. But the foreplay – the interaction of the camera with our instructions to each other. Him holding the camera as I suck his dick. Now that was hot.
And just as I found myself as my laptop filmed me that dreary afternoon, I totally got off on the fact I was being filmed – the eroticism that surrounded the potential of someone watching you. You’re basically getting off on your own objectification. I’m fudding myself to the thought of myself as a sex toy. And I’m not sure I give a shit.