Tales of my Greedy Punt – Week 4

MAISY MINT takes a trip down memory lane…

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So, as you know from last week’s column, I had to break things off with my fuck buddy. As a result I’m pretty horny. I’ve been masturbating everyday (it has been 5 days). I’m getting repetitive strain injuries in my right hand and my hips. I have been considering Tinder. My editor just offered me a threesome. Things are looking bleak. In an attempt to cheer us all up, I’m going to take a trip down memory lane to the ghost of dick past. So, sit back and enjoy the fact I’m getting even less than you at the moment.

He had decided five minutes earlier he was bored and that I looked fit. So whilst I was innocently procrastinating by doing odd hairstyles in the mirror, I had felt light brushing of teeth against my ear and two hands slide my pants down. Before I knew what was happening he had me on the bed with my top only half pulled back over my head. He’d done this so my arms were stuck there; I couldn’t get near that dick if I tried.

What circumcision might look like if your penis was a banana

Auntie Maisy’s revision tips: Have a healthy snack

Obviously, I’m grinning maniacally (not very sexy – I’ll admit) as he pinches my nipples and tells me off for looking so eager.

“Wipe that little grin off that dirty mouth.”

He goes down, pinching my nipples as he does. I can’t even watch. He licks my inner thigh – FUCK – and looks at my cunt. I love it when they do that. He looks at it, spreads it apart, still not touching it, he tells me how wet I am, the breath from his speech making me giggle and my knees buckle a little.

‘Don’t fucking move. Don’t move a muscle.’

Oh gosh. I’m in trouble now. He won’t touch it, just running his finger round and round until I’m literally begging for it. He’s grinning sadistically. I’m grinning imploringly. We’re smiling frantically at each other, laughing.

‘Please, PLEASE’

hotchoc

Relax with something warm and creamy

He runs his dick against my clit – whilst telling me not to move again. Obviously it takes every inch of willpower in my body not to push against the head board and slide that thing inside. But, you know, delayed gratification and all that. So I wait. His pre-cum is all over me now – making it so wet down there. And, FINALLY he goes down and sucks my clit until it’s so fucking hard. Once it’s up he uses his tongue to rub against it whilst he’s looking straight at me and he’s got one hand pinching my nipple whilst the other is under me, shoving me into his mouth. Shitfuckbollocks this is good.

As my knees start to shake from me pushing them down I find myself whispering, pretty aggressively ’Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me now.’

So it turns out it’s his turn to take orders. He sits up, moves his dick in, uses his right hand to massage my clit and has the other hand in my mouth. We’re looking at each other now, both saying the same thing.

One piggy went to market, the other had roast beef, this one went to corpus formal

Don’t let that meat intake drop

“Fuck, I’m going to cum. Fuck I’m going to cum.”

We cum.

He collapses. We both start laughing hysterically. It was a good revision break.

So, yeh, I hope you took something from that…even if it was just a semi.