Selwyn Promises a Show (without shemales)

After Selwyn Snowball’s ‘.com’ address gave us all TMI, the REAL ball will showcase TMD, after tickets sell out in record time.

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The Tab can reveal that Truly Medley Deeply will headline the Selwyn Snowball on Friday 30th November, alongside The Fillers, the official tribute band to The Killers.

Cambridge favourites the Funk Nuggests, Orphans of the Beefy Incident, the Yapps and Churchill Jazz also feature on the line-up.

The ball’s ticket sales were boosted by The Tab’s discovery earlier this term that students who had been searching for the ball at, rather than at its actual ‘’ address, had been directed to transsexual porn website ‘Shemale And F**king’.

What initially appeared to have been a publicity crisis for the committee has rendered some positive results for the ball.

Tom Walsh, President of the Snowball, said: “This year’s Snowball sold out in record time – within a week of The Tab’s article being published – and has had the biggest budget ever”.

The Tab has learnt that Selwyn will be transformed into a haunted fairground with a 10m helter skelter and many more Macabre attractions to be revealed on the night.

There will also a Sweeney Todd-themed room offering wet shaves from a cut-throat razor by Cambridge barbers McQueen & Co. for guys who have reached the end of Movember, in line with the ball’s ‘Danse Macabre’ theme.

Walsh said: “We look forward to seeing all our guests at the Danse Macabre!”